My life's journey

My Journey

They say life is full of meaning, joy and pain. Well? It is, so hope you like this!
Hi my name is Anavie and  I'm 20 years old.  Currently working as a maid in Manila. So this is my story

Well how do I start this, hmmn I'm not like with others who born with a golden spoon in my mouth and pampered with everything. I'm born to work hard so I can eat and go to school, can buy my needs in everyday life. My parents are both farmers, they work everyday and night so they can provide us food and shelter. My family experience cretized and descrimination because we don't have much money to pay our debts. It pained me knowing that my parents takes a lot of hurtful words just to find money and just takes the heavy rain, storm and the rising heat from the sun just to make money. It pained me to see them working under the sun and rain just to provide us the things we need and to put us in school. I felt guilt and angry that I cannot do anything in their suffering. I pained me that I can't do anything to lift us in poverty. Every night I always cry asking God why life is so unfair, why God  put us here. But eventually I learned that God put me in this because he believed that I can do that. I believed him that with my perseverance, motivation  and persistence I can achieve what I dream and I can lift my parents to where they are that they can't experience the same thing happened. You know I was bullied because of my looks, I felt so small everytime they make fun of me. Because I don't have teeth in front, I'm chubby and short, it hurts knowing no one can stand me because I'm ugly. It felt so frustrating knowing I will not fit in the society. But I do not mind, instead all the hurtful words they throw at me I make them an inspiration to continue my life and work hard so I can proved them that they are wrong of what they think of me. I work hard so that I won't be a burden to my parents and not depending on their money. Instead I'm the one who gave them money so they can't experience the life we supposed to have. My journey is quite a roller coaster ride. Sometimes I'm in cloud nine but mostly in down. I'm afraid to open up with others because I'm afraid that they will not accept me, afraid that they will leaved me. No one knows what I feel, I always kept my feelings in me, too afraid being cretized and descriminate. Too afraid that they will laugh at me. I always feel down and no one's there to listen to me, to comfort me, to guide and give advices on what I'm going to do. I feel so lonely that I would love to stay in darkness so no one can recognise me. Music is the only one who I have, it takes all my pain away, it always calm me and leave me in peace. This is my way of showing the true me. Music is my bestfriend and best buddy. I always work hard to have a place in class because my parents expect me to be on top. They always have a big expectations in me. I cannot failed them. I feel pressured to be always on top in class. I always give my best because I don't want to disappointe my parents. But I loved them. They are my treasured and my everything. So since I was in kinder I always achieved to be an honor student up till now. But now I stop going to school because my parents can't afford to pay my tuition so instead I find work so I can help them. So here I am working as a maid in manila. In love life well I don't expect too much because I always get hurt. No boy can stand on me, they just play with my feelings and all. So it's okay to be single, free and no problem