Heart Doesn't Forget

Chapter 1

Eda was not losing hope. How could she ever even consider the thought of giving up on him? After everything they have been through, she learnt that miracles do happen and they happen when you least expect them to. If only Serkan were here, he would probably laugh and say that it isn't very rational to actually believe in such things. If only he were here... 

But he was gone. Gone without a single trace of him for weeks. Everybody tried to prepare her for the worst, little did they know that a part of her has already died when the news arrived. She couldn't believe it and she wouldn't. She knew with every beat of her heart that he is not dead, and with every beat of her heart she wished for him to come back. She wished she could close her eyes, open them and see him standing right in front of her. Just like he promised her that day. 

His words were still hanging in the air, his voice so vividly resonating in her head. And for a moment she could even feel his touch, the kiss... Their last kiss. The 'I love you' that finally slipped from the tip of her tongue. If only she knew what the fate had to bring on, she would chant these three little words endlessly to him, creating even a tiny opportunity for it when none seemed to exist. If only... Life is always so generous for if-only-s when you look at the events in retrograde, but it's not generous on opportunities to fix it. All Eda had been left with were memories of their love and a tremendous hole in her heart, right where his heart was touching hers. Still, she wasn't losing hope.

Sometimes she couldn't keep it together anymore. Sometimes this new silence was getting too loud for her. Sometimes the reality felt more ruthless than ever before and the unknown was feeling like the knife, aimed at carving fresh scars. In the moments like these, her dreams would be her only escape. At first, she had troubles sleeping, immediately waking up, afraid of missing the moment when he would come back. But as the time without him was looking more and more like her new reality, her tears became her lullaby. She would cry herself to sleep, to see him in her dreams. In her dreams Serkan  was quietly slipping in her room, waking her up with tender touches on her hair, saying how much he missed her, reassuring her that this nightmare was over now. How real those dreams appeared to her! But the ending was even more realistic with him being gone in a blink of an eye every single time and her reliving a nightmare in a nightmare.

Then one day she had this dream, which eventually became a reoccurring one. She was seeing two phoenixes in the night sky. What beautiful creatures the were! Their long beautiful tales were made of their dreams. Their wings were patched out of their memories.  The good ones, the bad ones. All the beauty and pain captured in a moment. Some of them burned brighter than the others. They knew that even when they turn to ash, these memories would survive. 

Those two graceful creatures were fully on fire, with flames of all the spectrum of yellow, red and even purple. But everyone knew that this was not a simple fire they were burning with. They were burning with love. And he was burning for her just as much as she did for him. Their flames could have set the world on fire, only here it was harmless for the rest of the world. The only ones their fire could hurt were themselves. It wasn't about leaving scorch marks or scars. It was just that sometimes it got so bright, so fierce that it burned them down. And with every resurrection another little flame of the memory was added on their wings. Although they wouldn't have it any other way. They would burn for each other with everything they had and they would go down in flames for each other wholeheartedly and without a hint of regret. While others were questioning if there was love after love, they already knew the answer. It was their love that would never burn out.

And somehow Eda found some peace in these dreams, feeling that those were not simply two mythical creatures, paying her a visit in her sleep. She knew that those phoenixes were Serkan and her.