September 24th

The Courtroom

He sits nervously in the courtroom. He can feel everyone's eyes staring at him, especially Jake's parents. They hate him now. After what he's done...

He squirms in his seat. Suddenly the room is too hot. He pulls at his tie, then remembers everyone watching him. He does his best to sit still. He must act dignified, he must keep himself composed. A few people can be heard sniffling in the back of the courtroom as the jury somberly files in for what must be the third time. He can't bear to prolong this trial any longer. For two long weeks, he has had to sit through all the evidence. Almost every night he had nightmares about that day, those few minutes of ill-fated choices because of this trial. He just wants it to be done, so he can finally let go and maybe, hopefully, move on. He's struggled for three years, and now hopefully this can be finally over. He can't bear another day with Jake's parents glaring at him accusingly, with what seems like the anger and hatred of the whole world upon his shoulders. He can't stand the TV crews, interrogating him as he walks to and from the district court with his lawyer. He just wants the jury to decide his fate already.

It was all an accident, he never meant for this to happen. He wasn't supposed to be here, alive, as his best friend lay six feet under. That wasn't the plan. Jake and him were supposed to graduate together, to go to the same college, to get married and live across the street from each other, just like old times. None of this should have happened.

What if he hadn't stepped in...
What if he hadn't went to look for Jake that night after the party...
What if...

He is pulled from his reverie as the jury's decision is read aloud. "We, the jury, find the defendant, Alexander Dacey, guilty of murder in the first degree." A few people sob loudly, presumably Jake's parents. He breaks down and covers his face with his hands. Tears leak out as he cries silently into them. It doesn't matter that he would most likely spend the rest of his life in jail. The only thing that matters is that he is the only one standing today. Everything is a blur as the cuffs are placed on him and he is led out of the courtroom. Tears streaming down his face, he looks into Jake's father's eyes. "I'm sorry," he mouths just before the heavy wooden door to the courtroom and his past life is closed.

"I'm sorry..."