Finish Me

Fourteen

Six months into therapy, Dean started to get more comfortable talking about the things that happened while Alistair held him against his will. However, there was one thing he still couldn't talk about, the thing that broke him, making him give up all hope in being rescued or escaping.

"Dean, why don't you want to talk about it?" Dr. Walsh asked.

"I don't- I can't feel like that again," Dean replied, running a hand over his face.

Dr. Walsh nodded, "This is your safe place to talk. We can bring Cas in. Will that make it easier?" he asked.

Dean shook his head, saying that Cas didn't come in with him today that he had something to take care of, so Cain came instead. Dr. Walsh nodded. Knowing who Cain was to Dean and everything that went along with that, he asked Cain to join to discuss what happened. Dean rubbed his hand over his face and then nodded, knowing they needed to talk about it even though he didn't want to.

The doctor walked to the door and called Cain inside. Cas had told him it was possible if Dean was uncomfortable and what to do to help him relax.

"Dean, are you ok?" Cain asked.

"I don't know," Dean replied, keeping his head down.

Cain nodded and looked at the doctor, "We are discussing Dean's breaking point with Alistair," he replied.

Dean stood and kneeled next to the chair, Cain taking his cue to sit, "This ok?' Cain asked, carding a hand through Dean's hair.

"Yes, Sir, thank you," Dean replied; it was different than when Cas ran his fingers through Dean's hair; this was more like something he wished his father would have done or tried to understand as one of Dean's needs.

"Ok, when you are ready," Dr. Walsh said, watching Dean relax under Cain's hand.

Dean nodded, "He- Alistair said he was having a party, he had something special planned," he took a calming breath looking up at Cain, who gave him a nod, "I thought he was going to leave me in the room, he always did that when people came to the house." Dean closed his eyes for a moment collecting his thoughts, "I- I uh, I bit him the day before, and I guess he was tired of it. He came to the room, dragged me out, fighting made me kneel in the middle of the room. I don't know if he told people I consented or didn't care, but he had bolt cutters. I don't scare easy, ya know. Still, I thought he was going to cut my dick off," he laughed at the thought now, reaching up he rubbed his bare neck, "I- Alistair gave some grand speech about something I wasn't paying attention he cut my collar off," a tear slipped down Dean's cheek, "he said it was the last thing he needs to do, it reminded me of the Dom who didn't want me, the one who gave me to him," Dean looked up, "he cut away the last piece of Cas I had and I- I didn't, there was nothing I could do."

Dean slumped down, the feeling washing over him again, the defeat, despair, thinking that Cas wasn't going to want him or doesn't, and he's just being nice sat heavy in the back of his mind.

"Dean, son, I know Castiel, and of all my children, he has the biggest heart. That boy," Cain smiled, "doesn't just love you. He is in love with you. Those are two very different things. I also know that you are in love with Castiel. I have never seen love like yours; believe me, when I sway, Castiel won't be mad at you," Cain explained.

"I just feel like I could have fought harder," Dean replied, looking up at Cain.

"You did what you could," Dr. Walsh reminded him.

Dean nodded, saying he would try to remember that. They talked for a bit longer. Cain stayed until the end of the session wanting to make sure Dean was ok; it was intense for Dean to talk about his feeling; Cain knew that wanting to show the Sub as much love as he showed his kids. As they walked to the car, Dean asked if he knew what Cas was up to that he would be gone all day. Cain shook his head, saying he didn't tell him; they would have to wait for him to get back home.