Missing You (Ianthony oneshot)

I Miss You

I slowly looked over the wooden bench I had sat on the previous two times I had visited this month. My feet trudged across the frosted grass, letting it crunch loudly as my weight swashed it down. I looked back to see that I had created the outline of my shoes in the frozen icy cold stands of grass and mud.

I reached the bench and sighed softly relaxing fully as I looked over at the lake, no birds, not even swans seemed to be brave enough to venture into what looked like a freezing cold death. The deathly cold wind blew at my face, causing me to shiver and my cheeks to sting from the bitterness. I pulled my coat closer to my body in hope it would protect me from the cold, no such luck. I sighed the sooner I got this out the way the better.

I arched my back and stepped backwards a few steps before I hit the bench, I sat down, holding my breath, embracing the cold and at first all was fine. Then I felt it. The cold emitted through my thick clothing, extending its way up my back to my neck and across my legs, I shivered, maybe this wasn't the best idea I had. As the cool air penetrated my body I looked around at the place I had come to know. It was slightly nostalgic really, it reminded me of my childhood. This was my special place, a place I considered part of me, part of my life. I opened my sketch book I had been carrying and began to draw and write down a few words about the made me feel being here, surrounded by memories, emotions and nature.

Every memory I had of him was here, every smile, every laugh, every troubled time. They were all stored here, among the trees and bushes. I should be sad that he's gone but I knew he wasn't happy here, he never was, this was the best part of him and I was glad I got to see when he was the slightest bit happy.

I looked over at the trees and watched as the memories that played in my head become a ghoustly reality infront of me. I watched as a young Ian chased a younger version of myself round the tree before tripping and landing on top of me. I watched as he held me to the ground, giggled and whispered that I was it. He looked so happy, his blue eyes sparkled and shone with joy and happiness, It calmed me to see him well.

I looked to the park and remembered the day when I broke my leg when I fell from the monkey bars, I remembered how worried he was to see me on the floor my leg twisted at an abnormal angle, how his eyes turned from the brightest blue to a dull grey. I specifically remember him bending down, helping me to dry my eyes and pulling me into a big hug, telling me that everything would be alright and the pain would go away soon. I believed everything that came from his mouth, I truly trusted him. I just wish he trusted me. That day he carried me all the way home even when I told him I could walk on my own with help from him.

The wind picked up and my eyes started to water but I still did not get up and leave, I was too caught up in the beauty that surrounded me. It was a grey cold winters day, which would normal cause people to shut themselves up in the house, with a cuppa and watch TV, but not me, I wasn't that smart. I watched as leaves were picked up from the frost covered ground only to be blown in multiple directions before falling softly back on to the cool ground. As a few stray birds made their way across the skyline toward their home, floating with the grace and style of fighter pilot, I couldn't help but feel that this was his way of telling me he was okay, that he was free from everything that haunted him before.

I finished my sketch and stared at the scenery around me, the lake, what was normally a dark greeny blue colour had now turned grey and become like an barren arctic landscape. A place which was normally full of life but due to the freezing wind had become numb, dead, a lot like he had. I got up breathing deeply, I took one last look at the beautiful park and left only to return again when its a little warmer.

I would never forget him and the times he gave me. My Bestfriend which I missed dearly. "Happy 30th Birthday Ian, I love you!" I whispered letting a tear fall from my eye.

"The memories are still here why aren't you"