They say that the first heartbreak is the worst. I couldn't disagree more. I believe that the worst heartbreak, is the second one, simply because it makes one believe that everything is okay again,it lets us be happy, and to trust our instincs just so life or the universe or whatever, can rip it from our lifes as quickly as it came.
And it's no fair.
I wish, that Zoe would have been my last, my one and only. But life doesn't work like that. Things just happen, and then things just don't, and I also believe that there is a reason to it.
But she wasn't my first, which made everything even more painful. She was my second chance, she gave me hope, just so it could be torn away by Zoe herself.
For a sixteen year old boy, I was pretty ordinary. I went to school, had decent friends, brushed my teeth, and did my homework. My relationship with my Mom was ordinarie, we lived alone and she was a social worker (which is pretty ironic if you ask me). As an american family, we lived in the suburbs (obviously), my sister, Lisa, wasn't very fond of the suburbs, she prefered the busy streets of the cities, the night life and the thousands of open doors and oportunities. As a senior, you'd think she was obsessed over prom, and college and shit like that. My sister isn't into that, she's worried about the pot she smokes daily behind our mother's back, parties and her primate for a boyfriend,Dereck (she says that she is only dating him because he has a shit load of money and can afford buying expensive and unnecesary gifts, but I think she actually feels something for the thing)
But anyway, my sister is a highschool guru, she knows every survival skill a teenager should know, from escaping detention to hacking the principal's computer. Sure, you must be thinking that she shared her knowledge with me as her predecesor, well she didn't, in fact she was a complete bitch about it, left me to live on my own, discover my own tricks and strategies, even though I was completely comfortable being the good kid, the cute one, momma's boy, until Zoe came along.
As I said before, Zoe wasn't my first heartbreak, Sophie was, which was nothing compared to the second one, but never the less, it was depressing.
Sophie Pittman was the exemplary student. Everyone loved Sophie, she was bubbly, friendly and charismatic. She was everything but different. She was a highlight, a constant in everyones life. She dated me, she liked me because I was common, and she considered me as an inferior, she believed that we looked "cute", and I just fell for it because of the pressure, and I'll admit that I like the idea of the attention. After a while, I didn't even notice that I was falling for her smart remarks, and the way her eyelashes were always a perfect curve, and how she clasped her hands when she got an idea, and looking at the mirror and saying that I was her boyfriend, after a while, it felt good.My mother loved her of course. She was the type of girl you would want to present to your single mother, so it was devastating for her when I told her that "it didn't work".
She obviously broke up with me, she said that I wasn't enough for her, that I was holding her back from her real potential, which didn't make any sense, but I guess I didn't really care, because at last I felt like I was okay, that I had a place in someones life, that I was important, that I mattered. So she went as quickly as she came, so did the attention by the way.
On Sunday of the first week of moping around the house eating only chips, red bulls and playing video games until I couldn't see straight, at probably 11 at night or something, when I went to the kitchen to get some more fuel for the rest of the night I met my sister mid hallway, she was wearing a black cut off tight tank top showing off her belly button ring and some shorts with her hair loose.
" going somewhere?" I asked when she followed me down the hallway to the kitchen
"Yeah, crashing at Tania's party, wanna come?" she asked stealing one of our mom's beers from the fridge
" Uh, yeah, I think I'll pass" I said with a shrug. She just sighed and grabbed a hold of my shoulders with her dark nail polished fingers
"Look Will, stop being a pussy, and get your shit together. She was a bitch anyway. Who fucking cares if she is fucking little miss perfect, she's stupid enough to date you anyway, so why mop? stupid girls aren't worth moping for anyway" she said with an eye roll, but when she noticed my hurt gaze, she added " No, but dude, seriously, she's so not worth it " and with that she sort of leaned in to kiss me on the forhead but apparently thought better of it because she just released her grip and quickly left the house to Tania's.
And with that my moping was officially over. You must be thinking, just a week? that's nothing! For someone who was invisible for his whole life to finally be accepted and popular for 6 months on freshman year, is pretty fucking much.
Zoe Jefferson arrived at Hendrick Hudson Highschool at the start of Sophomore year.She came from Los Angeles. She was so noticeable, and so beautiful in all uncommon ways, she was just different, and everybody knew it. She had chin lenght chopped blonde hair and bangs, she was tall and skinny, I remmeber perfectly her attire, because she wore the same thing a lot, she was wearing a black and white striped short sleeved crop top (which were really in at the time, knowledge of my sister's short fashion moments) and high waisted shorts and hunter boots. She was pale, and her face was adorned in freckles, and her lips were obviously cherry red.
When the professor asked her name, she smirked, and said;
" Trouble "
