Two weeks. L has been tearing my life apart for two weeks now. He was right he wasn't done he was only just getting started. After about a week I got used to his daily updates on @proving_a_point but the kids at school are what's really starting to bother me.
People are knocking my stuff out of my hands as I walk through the halls. Pushing me into the lockers and tripping me as I walk by. At lunch kids throw food at me, not enough for a food fight or anything but enough that I notice. Everyone still laughs, points, and stares as I walk by. Notes about how pathetic I am are still being passed in class. I've even developed a nickname ,ass hat Amber, but most just stick with ass hat. It means idiot, which I must admit is very true and pretty cleaver but I still don't like it.
Watching my world destruct before my eyes and not being able to stop it is really starting to ware on me. I no longer have an appetite, I've dropped 10 pounds. I can't focus in class and my grades are dropping. I went from straight A's to C's. Lisa's lectures about how things will get better are meaningless. Music isn't having much effect anymore either, the words that once cured the ache in my chest now contribute to burying me into the hole L has dug for me. I don't know what to do anymore. I have to other options nothing else to turn to. I just want to numb the pain!
I walk into my bathroom and grab a plastic razor from under my sink. I break it in half and the blades fall out. I pick one up and walk back to my room and sit behind my bed. As I'm lifting up my shorts I question if this is really worth it, do I really wanna do this. My phone vibrates, L has posted another video. Yes I do. I press the cold blade against my skin and slide it across the top of my thigh. Blood instantly oozes from the cut. Its painful but it's nothing compared to the pain L has made me feel these past 2 weeks. I make 3 more cuts across my thigh before dropping the blade on the floor and staring at my thigh as the blood begins to run down it. Its quite a beautiful sight, evidence that I'm still human, that I'm still living.
When the blood starts to drip onto the carpet I head to the bathroom to take a shower. When the warm water hits my cuts they begin to sting and I can't help but scream.
The next day is the same as always. The verbal and physical abuse. Everyone teasing about L's most recent update.
I walk into Algebra and sit in my normal spot in the front of the class. The bell rings and Mr. Germont begins to speak but of course I'm unable to pay attention to anything he's saying. I look out the window blocking out the sounds of Mr. Germont trying to explain systems of equations with negative exponents and ignore the kids putting notes on my desk. I just keep my focus on the life outside the window. I see the wind blowing through the trees and the butterflies flying around. I see a bird land on the window seal then fly off and I'm jealous. I wish I was a bird, free to fly far away from here. I am pulled out of my jealous thoughts when I notice a guy across the room staring at me. Why is he staring at me? When he sees me staring back at him he gives me a warm smile and I instantly look away. When I lift my head and look in his direction has still staring. The bell rings ending the awkward exchange the halls fill quickly as I'm walking to my locker
"Sup ass hat" some kid with a football jersey on shouts and knocks my binder out of my hand. Everyone begins to laugh as scatter around the hallway gathering my papers and pens. I walk over and bend down to pick up my notebook but someone grabs it before I can. When I stand up the kid from algebra who was staring at me is holding a stack of my papers of and my notebook.
"Here you go" he smiles and hands me my notebook and papers
"Uh thanks" I mumble
"No problem. Its Amber right"
"Yeah"
"I'm Shane" he extends hand inviting me to shake his hand and I accept his offer
"Hi"
"Well I gotta get to class. See you tomorrow"
"Okay"
He walks off and waves goodbye before turning the corner. When I turn around the hall way is pretty much cleared. I see L leaning against the lockers staring at me and clenching his fist. His eyes stay locked on me as I walk past him. Why is he staring at me? After I pass him I hear a crash against the lockers and turn around. He is shaking his hand and walking away. Did he just punch the lockers? What is this dudes problem?
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Does He Really Care
Ficção AdolescenteAmber has liked L for what seems like a life time and she thought he liked her back but after L embarrasses Amber in front all their friends and on social media Amber finally decides to move on. After Amber exits his life L realizes he really did lo...
