my Journal

2/23/21

(T.W sad)

Well today was pretty normal but just a couple seconds ago I had 3 anxiety attacks....an it is currently 12 F*CKING A.M RIGHT NOW *sigh* No one knows I have panic attacks and I don't like being helped so I just deal with it till it stops. But i made this little "poem"."it feels like my clothes are eating at my skin,now scratching at my skin thats now bleeding,my heart going faster and faster...till it stops,and the next day a mother finds her daughter on the ground clothes ripped off scratches all over her, she's motionless....she lays dead on the ground blood all over her body.and all the girl can think as she sees her mother crying is:if only people took anxiety seriously.''its bad but true... I hide behind my happiness and confidence so that person they care about and love,not the real me the real me is depressed,scared,worried,anxious,over thinking,self conscious.i mask it all with a smile and a "I'm fine,how are you!".and that is all it takes to make people think your fine.i wish i could tell someone but i can't,i just don't want to make then worried about me and try helping me.i don't like being helped