The unknown reason of the fallen tears from the eyes of a young female as she thinks. It is unclear what is causing the tears to fall. Is it she lost someone dear? Is it she is unloved? Well lets depict her thoughts as we read through them. The first thought is uncertain to what she will do with her life, the second she doesn't understand why she is so hated and unloved by her family, and the third she has no idea what is effecting her schooling.
As continue going through the first thought you can hear what she wants but she does not believe she is capable for it. She wants to become a very succefull surgeon. But, in her mind she believes she is incampable of something so great. Something that requires so much smarts and intelligence. As she goes threw her junior year she realizes the less capable of it. When she thinks of what she is going to become she sees herself in bags for clothes and living out of a tattered, old, dingy, unsanitary box. She can not help but to see that she wont become much, she worries about what she is doing all this school work for.
Her third thought becomes more of a worry, what is going to happen to her schooling? Her grades are slowly sinking down. She can not understand what is going on she tries her hardest but she cannot get focused enough to fully comprehend. When she looks like she is paying attention she is really slowly drifting some were else. A place she wishes to live. A life with love and obvious affection. A life with caring souls all around. A life with what she souly desires. But, because she is dreaming of these things in school she falls behind and her grades go down. Her family say it's her fault. But, in all actuality it is theirs. She does not know that it is their fault. But, why is it there fault you may ask?
She is unloved by her family. All they ever do is put her down to somewere she doesnt want to be. Why they do that is unspecified. The point is that they do it. That's why her grades are dropping she thinks of the oppsie of what she sadly has. Her mother only see her as annoyence, ungrateful, selfish little bitch. Her farther is gone but he faguely undersands anything about her. Two out of three sister never do anything but call her fat, stupid, ugly, unappreciative, grotess, inresponsible, little beast. That she is an unholy site infront of them. The only one who certainly understands her is gone away from her. She has noone but when she meets people she appears to be an happy soul. But, inside she it far away from happy, contemplating death.
The sound of suicide is music to her ears. The thoughts of commiting suicide is a blessing to her mind. The thought that she could easily get a razor blade and slice her wrists and die so easily. She can take a rope and hang herself and slip the life away with breathe rather than bleed to death. Or, an more simple way she can just take all her medications and overdose. She could just drink bleach and intoxicate her body. The true question lies unclearly. Does she have the guts to go threw with it? Is she capable to finish herself off? Is she able to finish the damage that they had already been caused?
When the thoughts stop flowing I sadly look up and I do not see the young girl anymore. I run over to were she was at the edge of the river bank. I look over and I see her body as she drowned herself. You must have thought that was impossible not true. I realize that her eyes are closed shut and she must have fallen asleep as I was listening in. She fell in and was dead but, what could I do know she's dead. She's already gone! So I do the only thing I can do. I pull out my cellphine and call the peramedics.
Once the peramedics arrive they ask what my name is and i thankfully respond with "Jeshickah." As they turn around they take the girl out of the water and, take out what the girl had in her pocket. I ask so incently "May I see what was in her pocket?" They show me and I see a name that read: Carressa Rodriquez. I bow my head and cry.
The paramedic named Adonis questioned me why I was starting to cry. All i could do is shake me head. From the back how could i have known it was my own sister? The thought i was listening into her thoughts and could not tell it was my own younger sister is horible. How could i not realize? I should have! Now what am I going to tell my mom? How am I going to tell her why she did it? Of course I know because I heard what she was thinking!
The paramedics took her body to the hospital's morgue, and they take me home. My mom asks were Carissa is. I take a long pause "Mom she's dead." "How the fuck am I supposed to be that? Were the fuck is she?" I finally respond "Mom we can go to the hospital right now!" They drive down to the hospital.
The nurse takes them down to the morgue and show the body. All the mom does is cry and laugh. "She is in shock," screams the nurse! The doctors come down with a gernie and take her up to the mental ward. I think to my self, I lost my sister and mom in less than two hours, what am I going to do now? I go home and i see my dad sitting on the couch and he asks "Where's your sister and you mother?" "mom's at the hospital and Caressa is in the morgue of the hospital." He says "Really!" "Yupp"
He drives fast down to the hospital and this time I stay home. When he returns he shockingly says "You were right." "I knew I was right! Why arent you making a big deal out of this?" He responds "It's life you live and than you die. True your sister did not have a long time she was only 17, but still." I scream "SHE"S GONE FOREVER AND I KNOW WHY AND MOM WENT CRAZY DO TO IT! HOW DO YOU NOT CARE? WHAT ABOUT MOM?" He yells, "DON"T TAKE THAT TONE WITH ME YOUNG LADY!" I just run to my room and cry. The father walks in an hour later.
All the faher tells her is that she's going to be okay and that mom will be better soon. The one thing that he did not mention that I was shocked about was how I knew why she did it.
