With Love, San

Act I

AN: Hi. So over quarantine I fell in love with Glee again, more specifically, Santana and Brittany, and fell into a little Brittana spiral, so here I am. I came up with this concept, and I don't know, it kinda ran away from me. This is inspired by something that I do: writing letters to other people when I need to vent or express feelings that I don't understand. It's also kinda from Dear Evan Hansen, the writing yourself letters part, not the pretend to be friends with the dead kid part. I hope this is at least semi-coherent and semi-cohesive, so please leave comments and your reactions, I haven't written in a bit, so please don't be too harsh. :)

For context, in my mind about 80% of Glee canon is actually canon, if that makes sense. I kinda have my own ideas of how Brittany and Santana met and like what happens after 5x12/13 and after 6x13, so hopefully it all comes through ok. Plus I took some liberty with the season 4/5/6 timelines (ie somehow Britt and San get married in my timeline in 2014 bc a year disappeared when season 5 started right at the end of season 4) since they make no sense anyway.

Also I imagine that sometimes Brittany and Santana make each other more infinite playlists just because, so of course, here one is: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PL2ecmx-Y0-PGxHGnvJh_EPfQNBhjNIw_h

!!Content warning!!This includes topics that may upset some readers including allusions eating disorders, homophobia, parental and other family issues, death, and slight references to self harm/ suicide as well as includes slight explicit language. So, please do not read if these topics are not healthy for you to hear about right now.!!

XXX

For Naya

XXX

"In eyes not yet created

On tongues that are not born

I have written you down

Now you will live forever"

(Poet, Bastille)

XXX

To whom it may concern,

My name is Santana Lopez and I'm 18 and gay and so fucking in love with Brittany S Pierce. You may be wondering what the hell this stack of letters that you're reading is, and honestly, I don't know either. This letter-writing thing started when I was like 6 or so. My parents got me a therapist because their marriage had never been really great, but it did not get better after I was born, and definitely not after I came out, but I'm getting ahead of myself. Anyway, at age 6 was when my parents really started fighting and things were not getting better for anyone. So, maybe they thought if I got better, they would get better, too. Spoiler alert: that did not work. Something that my childhood therapist Lacey told me to do was write letters. Not letters to send or for anyone else. Just letters for me. I think she knew that even at a young age, I didn't really communicate well with other people. So that's what I did. I wrote letters. I started when I was 6 and I haven't stopped, and I don't think I ever will. Most letters are written when I'm feeling really overcome with emotion, some not. They're not really written on a schedule, just word vomit when I need to. So, dear person reading my deepest thoughts, I hope you can find some value in the inner life of a Lima lesbian, and who knows, maybe after I'm famous, they'll be worth something.

With love, San x

XXX

Act I

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Dear Diary,

My name is Santana Diabla Lopez and I am 6 years old and I think this is dumb. Miss Lacey says that I have to write letters but I do not know why. Maybe it is to practice my spelling even though I am the best in my class. I am even better than Rachel, even though she thinks she is better than me. She is not smarter than me. She is not a better singer than me either. I don't like her very much. Not a lot of people do. She does not have a lot of friends, but she does that to herself. I have a best friend. Her name is Brittany Susan Pierce. Diary, maybe you can be my friend. I know you will not tell my secrets to anyone. I have a secret to tell you: I really like Brittany. She is nice to everyone and she is really pretty and I think I would do anything for her. Diary, that is all I can think of for today's letter. I'll talk to you later.