With Love, San

Act III

Dear Britt,

I miss you already. We're leaving for Louisville tomorrow and this summer has gone by way too fast. I know we spent essentially every waking moment together plus all the moments after we fell asleep. I'll call you everyday. I don't know how I'll be able to fall asleep otherwise.

I know we kinda ignored the whole thing this summer, but I really feel everything looming over us now. I need you to know that you're it for me, B. I love you so much, it scares me. I don't want to ruin everything we've worked so hard for. We're doing this for us. We're gonna be okay.

It's like 4am and I really felt the need to write this. In addition, I wrote you another letter for you to read like 20 minutes ago. I see it sitting on your nightstand now. It says all the things you already know. Like how much I love you and how I can't wait for our future.

I might as well just stay awake because you told me to leave before you woke up, but I can't bring myself to get up. You've always been the morning person, so I think I have to go soon.

I love you, Brittany S Pierce.

With love, San

XXX

Dear Britt,

I heard it's Britney Week again. I wish I could be there. I also heard that you beat up JBI with an umbrella? I proud of you for that, plus he probably deserved it. Something else I heard was that Sue kicked you off the Cheerios for like all of 5 hours or something? They couldn't have lasted very long without you.

I know you're probably doing this all for a "major comeback" or something. I'm sorry that you feel the need to do that. I know you're probably feeling isolated and I'm sorry.

In the nicest way because you know I love you, you are such an Aries. I know the stereotype of the gays and astrology, but you really couldn't be anything else besides an Aries. The stars will turn in your favor soon, trust me.

Anyway, college is fine. I think I'm going to major in business or English or music performance or something. Not pre-med. The football team's okay, the cheerleaders are nice enough. I met some other lesbians, you'd be proud that I made some friends. I really miss you though, I promise I'll visit soon.

With love, Tana

XXX

Dear Brittany,

If you love someone, let them go, right?

My dad's walked out on me, my grandmother has disowned me, I've recovered from an eating disorder, I've been bullied, and I've been outed to the entire state of Ohio, and yet, breaking up with you hurt so much more than all of that. I know I said that "this wasn't and official break-up," but you're right, it really feels like one.

I know I said "energy exchange," but that's simply the dumbest thing I've ever said. I'd never cheat on you. But I think I was just looking for an excuse to stop your hurting.

But for as much as it hurts, it hurt so much more to see you struggling and feeling like you were left behind. Britt, if I know anything, I know we're meant to be together. I did this for us.

You really are the best thing that's ever been mine.

I've built my life around you. You've been part of my life for the last 12 years. I didn't know what it was like to live without you, and then I found out. And it really fucking sucks. I need to be a stronger person now, and now that's what I'll work on so I can be the best version of me for you.

If you love someone, let them go. And they'll come back if it was meant to be.

And I love you, Brittany S Pierce. So I let you go. And I hope you'll come back to me.