teenage dreams

part 1 - before.

harry lewis - i loved him before fame, i love him in fame and i'll most definitely love him after. i know what your thinking, love is a strong word. you see in the movies that love is the central attraction- a couple here, a couple there a bit of sex in between and boom soulmates. but it's not like that for me.

i met harry when we were both 14 - i was a transfer student halfway through the academic year at guernsey grammar school , i knew from the moment i met him that he was special, but i was always too nervous to speak to him and it was like that until my 15th birthday where he wished me a happy birthday. i remember that day like it was yesterday my heart was beating at my ribcage i'm surprised it didn't burst through my top. every year since then it was a continuous thing happy birthdays here and there every year until we turned 17 and harry dropped out of school. i never plucked up the courage to be friends with him i guess you could say i was scared even though he was probably the nicest boy i've ever laid eyes on. i was sad when he dropped out i thought i'd never see him again and i'd never get to say anything past a happy birthday - oh how i was wrong.

i set up twitter around 2015. nothing special it was really just to be able to have a space to talk amongst my friends and share how i was feeling it was really for a bit of fun that my friends made me do. my best friend, emily had been my friend for as long as i can remember being in guernsey for and it was a social media platform she used which then turned into a social media we both used. i never followed harry though - it's not like he would acknowledge me or probably even remember me and as i said, it was just for fun, i'd post every now and then on top of coursework as i carried on with school etc after A - levels. in fact i went to uni to design media. i always wanted to be designer of some sort.

this leads me onto present day - i'm now 22 living in a cozy flat in south London  with my best boy friend,sammy . sammy well sam as he prefers to be called has been my boy bestie since we were 19 , we met at a party and just hit it off straight away, since then , we have been inseparable especially considering some of the things he has witnessed- he's been with me through it all. i am quite a composed girl with a huge crush on harry still. i would have thought it would go away i mean, it's been five years since i last saw him face to face. but it hasn't. i watch the sidemen  i always have not just for harry but watching him grow up when i knew him, it sure was one of the reasons that pulled me towards them. i can just never seem to get him out of my head. not now, and not over the past five years.