Bangtan's Bodyguard || BTS

| Chapter 37 - Inner Child |

Cyrene's POV

Flopping down into my comfortable bed I struggle to stay awake the blankets trying to pull me under like a monster from the ocean floor. My eyes flutter so slightly as I consider my options.  

1. Fall asleep

2. Stay awake

Well that critical thinking didn't help - sighing I try to list anything that needs to be urgently done.  Nothing falls to my mind as I try to embrace sweet dream land wrapping around my feather pillow - nothing. Being able to fall asleep quickly was a special strong suit of mine, so why did I struggle. Laying awake for 3 hours, exhaustion finally over came my restless mind.

Flashback to 10 Years Ago

I fall to the ground my knuckles bloody and bruised my body aching and sore. I wobble as I try to push myself up but meet the hard surface not ten seconds later, a soft wind stinging my open wounds from the relentless training my uncle had put me through.

Why was I remembering this now - I should of known that my peace of mind would never last so long. I had been so focused on Bangtan's issues I had put my own off to the side as if suddenly they never existed. In a way I relaxed and now I'm reminded of this moment. My catalyst.

'Uncle I can't!' I cry out trying to get up, a hard crack comes down onto my back forcing me back into the ground. I scream out in pain knowing I was at my breaking point, 'p-please' I cough the blood splatter painting the dead grey concrete with red, like a modern art piece.

'And what if it wasn't me,' He said coldly circling my struggling body as he brings down the wooden bat on his hand, 'What if it wasn't me!' 

'I'D BE DEAD YEARS AGO!' I scream, out tired of hearing this every day as he ruthlessly trains me, the beatings, the blood, the crying. 'I can't do this anymore' I whisper out - a gasp following as I couldn't believe what had come out of my mouth. And no sooner had those words left my mouth my Uncle had me by my hair and his pistol under my chin.

My tears ran quickly dry as he looked me dead in the eyes, 'In all the time I had trained you and you repay your parents with this nonsense,' He says coldly a cold flame covering his soul.

'I didn't ask for this!' I mutter out, I was at my lowest and I didn't know if I could continue.

'Say hello to your parents for me,' Before I can ask I hear the safety click and the trigger. I await my fate but instead are greeted again by concrete. I shake eyes wide as I try to comprehend that I am still alive. I magically push myself off the ground a new rush of adrenaline in my body at the thought of survival. 'See you could do it' My uncle walks out of the makeshift warehouse leaving me to my own thoughts. 

And all I remember is screaming.

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'Cyrene!' A loud voice brings me out of my sleep and I see Jin on top of me hands on my shoulders, his eyebrows furrowed slightly his mouth agape trying to see if I was okay, 'Are you -'

I go into his arms and sob, I curl myself into him trying to bring myself back to the present, my whole body shook feeling grateful that I was alive. My memories haunted me and I hadn't had a nightmare in a long time - my desperation leading to unconsciousness must have brought on this memory - why did it have to be this one.

'Oppa please don't leave me alone tonight' I beg holding onto his body for dead life, he nods, getting off the bed he takes off his jeans and shirt leaving himself in only his boxers. I was vulnerable and going into an unknown state of dependency, I couldn't make out what was going through my mind, only that I needed Jin here with me. I whimpered slightly wanting him to curl his body around me I was shocked at my own actions as it my mind had gone into a child like state of dependency. Making grabby hands at him he comes down and lays into the pillows arms wide. I press my smaller body into his and he wraps his around mine. Becoming comfortable I wrap my arms around his torso and nuzzle my head into his chest, using his arm as my pillow. I quickly fall back asleep as an unfamiliar feeling of safety and comfort kept a fog of ignorance over my mind - as if my night-terror had never even happened.