𝓘𝓷 𝓜𝔂 𝓗𝓮𝓪𝓭 // 𝕂.𝕊.

𝕹𝖎𝖈𝖔𝖑𝖊(𝐹𝑜𝓇 𝒩𝑜𝓌)

It was never supposed to go like this you say to yourself.

The stars are out tonight.

They've never looked this clear before.

That's why you're out here tonight, you suppose.

It's why you're laying out in the grass. For the stars.

If that's the case, why is your head turned? Why are you looking at him,

Instead of up at the stars?

And because luck is on your side (note sarcasm)

he's looking back at you.

And damn.

You see it now.

You look back at him and your stomach plummets

Because you were never supposed to care this much

Never supposed to fall this hard.

Hell.

You were never supposed to fall in love in the first place.

Especially

Not

With

Him.

And to be honest it makes no sense.

Never in a million years did you see yourself having this epiphany

Under a sky full of stars

During one of the best weather days there's been all year

It's so cliché

Almost pathetic really.

And again, it makes no sense because

He was unbearable wasn't he?

You couldn't stand him.

Or maybe...

Maybe that was never true,

Was it?

Maybe, all along. You knew.

And you were just afraid.

So you stopped it. Forced it away.

Or maybe 

you thought you did,

But instead those feeling just decided to build up over time

Ready to explode. Your permission be damned.

And this is that explosion, that crash

Boom.

And honestly, who are you kidding,

With a smile so bright

And a humor so horrid

And those arms that when they wrap around you.

You feel safer than you've ever felt

There's no way in hell you hate him, there's nothing to hate him for.

And for that

You despise him.

Because he's so so good.

Too good.

Which is why you're not going to voice those nagging thoughts.

Because you know yourself

And your self destructive ways, knocking down everything around you as well

and you refuse to bring him down with you, he doesn't deserve that

Not only that, but because even though you're scared of love

You're fucking terrified of it being unrequited.

So for now

Looking at him

Existing at the same time

Being here with him 

it's enough

And yeah, it hurts not being able to reach out and claim what you want

So desperately want to be yours,

Yeah this method of coping won't last forever

Because you can't tread on eggshells, holding glass for too long

Because you'll inevitably trip.

And it will shatter.

But like stated prior.

For now.

It's enough