“I’m sorry.” said my employer, handing me, probably, my last salary. I heave a sigh. I wonder what’s wrong with people? My parents told me that I had these potentials, well, at least they don’t deject me. But seriously. What is wrong with people?
I came home later that night, weary. “Hey there, Selena, darling.” greeted my mother. I gave her a weak smile, she then asked me to sit at one of the chairs at the dining area, and I told them every single thing that happened on my entire day. “What the hell is he thinking? Didn’t he notice that my Selena Clarke got the potential?” I needed to calm my father down because he is seriously fuming, mad. “Dad, you know, I can find another job.”
The night’s gone longer than the usual. I was on my bed, talking with my sister, Elizabeth. We were having a word about our lives, on how we should deal with it. Dad’s got no job, so as Mom. My sister’s got her first child, Thomas. And she needs to focus raising him up. Then, there’s me. Selena Clarke, the bread winner of the family. They all depend on me, so I badly need a job. Sadly, I just got fired from the last one. “What are your plans now?” Elizabeth snapped me back to reality. “I honestly don’t know.” Elizabeth just stare at me for a second, then spoke. “I really am sorry for being a burden to you, Selena.” I stopped her from speaking. “No, you are not a burden to me. I love this family and I’m doing this for all of you, because I love you” I assured her, placing my hand on hers. She just hugged me without saying a word and exited my room. Well, I need rest too. For now.
“I could help you find another job, babe. Go to the job fair again. Don’t worry about the money, I’ll pay” my boyfriend, Jean, winked at me. He’s the sweetest of all humans in the entire universe. I swear to god that I’m going to keep him no matter what. I smiled back at him. Soon, I felt his arms around me. So warm. Somehow, I felt safe. Jean and I spend our day together, cuddling and snuggling each other. Talking about our future, as always. We talk, talk, and talk until the sun fell asleep. “The moon is so beautiful,” I exclaimed in amusement. “I could stare at it forever.” I can feel Jean’s gaze darted on me, seeking into my soul. “You’re more beautiful than the moon and every star above us, babe” I hit Jean, mischievously. “Stop flattering me.” I cackled. He wrapped his arms around me again, uttering no words. This guy is so unpredictable. But that’s one of the things I love about him. He brought me home as the night went deeper, reminding me to have enough beauty rest. “Take care, Jean” I bid him goodbye.
I woke up the other day with my mom screaming. “What the hell is going on?” I mouthed, still half asleep. “Come down here, Selena. We’ve got good news for you!” As much as I badly want to go back to sleep, I can’t. When my mom says a thing, be it. I pull my hair up into a messy bun, lazily walking down the stairs. “What is it, mom? It’s still so early” Her eyes we’re glimmering as she looks toward my father. “Your father already had a job!” We both screamed in excitement. “That’s a very good news!” I patted my father’s shoulder, congratulating him. They wanted to celebrate, so I let them. Perhaps, I’m meeting my boyfriend because he said that he’s going to tell me something so important. I walked back to my room and checked the clock. “Oh, no” It’s almost nine in the morning. I’ll be meeting him at the Harrington’s by 10AM, sharp. I quickly fixed myself, I wore some nice comfortable dress, put some make up on, to make myself a bit presentable. Good thing our meeting place is not that far from my house. I wonder what’s that important thing he’s going to tell me. I walked my way to where he said he’s going to meet me. The sun shines bright that day, which somehow gives me this unusual glow on my face. As I stepped a foot on the gutter, I saw Jean. But he’s not alone. He was there, standing and talking with a woman. His arms we’re resting on the woman’s shoulder. I had this thumping on my chest. I grew more and more nervous that very moment. “Jean?” I called his name, loud enough for him to hear. His gaze landed on me. “Oh, hey Selena. I want you to meet Charity, she’s a very good friend of mine. A childhood friend to be precise.” I nodded slowly, intently listening to him. Charity extended her hand for a hand shake, but I refused. I don’t know why I did that, maybe out of nervousness, frustration, rage. I just don’t know. Mixed-emotions. My boyfriend resumed to talk to Charity as if I was never there. This was the first time that he treated me like this. I wonder what I did wrong. We were just fine last night. This saddens me. “Jean,” I called out his name once again. “What am I here for?” I interrogated. He looked at me, his eyes got no emotions. My eyes started to get watery. “I’m sorry, Selena,” His words stopped my world. “I thought I really do love you, but no. Charity came back, and I realized that I still love her. That I really do love her. I’m really sorry.” There. That very moment, my world collapsed. I can’t do anything but to cry. I want to punch him, kick him, make him suffer until he’s helpless that very moment. But my body stood frozen. I can’t even budge. My tears just prove how sad and brokenhearted I am.
It’s been two weeks since Jean broke up with me. Yes, he ended everything about us that morning. I kept on calling him, texting him, I even looked so pathetic on chats, but I still got no replies. Up until now, I’m still clueless of what really had happened. Up until now, it feels like this was all part of a nightmare. I badly want to wake up from this bad dream. Again, my eyes teared up. I was busy crying when the door bell rings. “What a very nice timing.” I hissed. I took all the courage I had and face whoever was there at the door. “Yes, what can I-“ My words were halted when I saw Charity outside. “Selena, can I have a word with you?” I gulped, my chest pounding that I find myself having a hard time breathing properly. “Sure, is Jean with you?” I asked her, feeling the lump on my throat. Her face gloomed, as if she was about to cry. It bothers me, so I let her in and lead her to our living room. “Don’t worry, my family’s not here. They were out for some business.” I told her casually. “What was that you’re going to tell me?” I asked her as I took a seat on the sofa, beside her. I can see that she was restraining herself from crying. “Hey, Charity. Are you okay?” I patted her shoulder. She fished something inside her pouch and handed it to me. “What is this?” She handed me a white envelope. “Go read it. Jean told me to give it to you a week after he’s gone.” I froze. “Gone? What do you mean gone?” She covered her mouth then she broke down. With trembling hands, I tear the envelope and I found a yellowish, a bit crumpled paper inside. “Jean and I were not just friends. We’re cousins. Yes, everything that happened that day, was a lie. He wanted you to let go of him. He wanted you to get mad at him, that’s why he asked me to do that. At first, I refuse but I know that he just wanted the very best for you, so I did accept his favor,” Dumbfounded I was that time. “Why would he do that? I’m his girlfriend!” She asked me to read the letter. And what’s written on it makes my world crumble, again. “I guess that’s my business here. He loves you so much.” Charity said before leaving.
My dearest Selena,
I asked my cousin Charity to give this letter to you after a week of my interment. Yes, Charity is my cousin. I asked her to pretend as my friend which I fell in love with because I want you to forget about me. I want you to despise me because with that, I know that you’ll be able to move on, fast.
I’m sorry for being so secretive, and sorry for not telling you this but I’ve been diagnosed with Acute Leukemia last year, and I asked my family and my colleagues to keep it a secret. My case got worse last month, and I knew that my body won’t make it. I badly want to be with you, but I don’t want you to suffer seeing me in pain. I’ve told Charity every plan we had. And I also told her to give you the access to a bank account. I’ve been saving everything for us. Sadly, I left you. I’m giving you this for you to know that I want you to start a new life. I want you to be happy even without me. I want you to buy yourself your freedom. Live the life we want, the life you want. I bet the money I saved would be enough for that.
I am so happy that its you who I got to love. And I’m as lucky as the luckiest man on earth because it’s me who you loved. No matter what happen, remember that I’m always by your side, every step of the way. And if there’s a chance that you’ll be loving another man, I’m asking you this one last thing. Please, don’t forget about me. I love you so much, Selena.
Your Love,
Jean
I cry and cry and cry later that night. Letting all the pain and emotions out. “Jean, why?” I asked out of nowhere, as if he would hear me. “I didn’t even get to see you on your last days” But then, a flashback came. That night when we were stargazing. “You’re more beautiful than the moon and every star above us, babe”. I ran to the rooftop, looking up. I saw stars and that reminded me of him. I uttered my vows to him. “I’ll make our dreams come true”.
