You're Tired.

April 11, 2015

You've always thought your family loved you. They said it often. They made you believe they were telling the truth. The said you were their little bundle of joy. They said they wanted you to go to a good college. They wished you a good life.

Your mother was finally happy. At least everyone else thought so. They looked upon your mother and step father with pride. They were happy that you finally had a father figure. You went eleven years with out a father. What difference will it make now, except now you're miserable.

Your step father tells your mother what a bad child you are. He tells her how bad she raised you. He asks what happened to her parenting skills. He says your sister is the perfect child. She gets good grades. She never slips up. They think she's the perfect little angel.

Today, you got your internet privileges taken away because you had a password on your tablet. You skyped your bestfriend on your sisters computer...

On 4/11/15, at 12:37 PM, You wrote:

> Hey. You know your my best friend right?

On 4/11/15, at 12:39 PM, She wrote:

> Yeah ig why

> Kik me

On 4/11/15, at 12:43 PM, You wrote:

> I can't.

> Hey, is CK there too?

On 4/11/15, at 12:44 PM, She wrote:

> Yeah but she ain't looking at my phone

> Why

On 4/11/15, at 12:45 PM, You wrote:

> 'Cause. I might do something that I'll regret later... Just letting you know not to be worried if I'm not at school on Monday.

On 4/11/15, at 12:46 PM, She wrote:

> What the fuck You what are you going to do

> You!

You also skyped your former boyfriend/crush...

On 4/11/15, at 12:37 PM, You wrote:

> Hey. You know I still like you right?

On 4/11/15, at 1:59 PM, He wrote:

> yeah

> why ask?

> you there?

On 4/11/15, at 2:09 PM, He wrote:

> ..hello?

You cry. You silently let the tears roll as snot drips down your nose. You calmly walk to the bathroom, keeping your head down as you pass your step father. As you close the door, you grab the toilet paper as you sit on the floor. You think back to all the times you thought you family hated you. You feel yourself believing they do, again. You stare at the red and blue bottle of sleeping pills. Its full, not even opened. It has the easy open arthritis cap. It would be so easy for you to open it and pour them all into your mouth, to end all the tears. You're scared. You're tired of always coming this close to the bottle and running away. You're tired of being scared to take away the sadness. You sigh, walking back to the computer. You open skype and hesitantly talk to him and her. You tell them, maybe later. Maybe later you won't be scared. Maybe later, you won't be tired. Maybe later.