𝚝𝚘 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚑𝚊𝚒𝚔𝚢𝚞𝚞 𝚌𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚊𝚒𝚗𝚜 𝚒'𝚟𝚎 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚍 𝚋𝚎𝚏𝚘𝚛𝚎..

𝘥𝘦𝘢𝘳 𝘰𝘪𝘬𝘢𝘸𝘢 𝘴𝘢𝘯,

dear oikawa san,

   it's been awhile, hasn't it? i hope you're doing well, how's argentina? you're not being a dumbass and
overworking yourself are you?

let's hope not or else i'll call iwaizumi and we can both beat you up <3

i know this letter is unexpected, considering the fact that we haven't talked in months. you disappeared so quickly, its like i closed my eyes for a second and you're gone.

i never got to tell you how i felt.

remember the day i found you sitting at the stairs that had led to your clubroom? it was chilly that day, so chilly that my rose colored scarf had slipped off.

flowing through the air, the scarf somehow ended up where you were. it's funny, id like to call it fate.. pathetic huh? though you were never really into that kind of sappy love stuff were you?

that day, i ran after my scarf and had found you sitting down on the rusty iron staircase. you looked so distressed..so stressed. your jaw clenched harshly as if you were on the brink of exploding out in frustration. your hands clenched into a fist tightly. i could just tell by looking into your eyes that you weren't okay.

pft, it's pretty easy to read when you're not feeling the best.

looking back at it, i felt somewhat pitiful for you. the tooru oikawa himself, mr popular, sitting here like a damsel in distress. so vulnerable, so hopeless..the tooru oikawa who was known as a flirt and one of the best highschool setters in the prefecture sitting here in this state?

upon asking what was wrong, you lifted your head up slightly. i'm assuming you didn't know i was here considering the look of pure shock on your face, it was a bit amusing to see you look at me like that honestly.

as you lifted your face up, the light that admitted from the brilliantly red and orange sunset, shined onto your pale skin. bringing out your beautiful chocolate hazeled color eyes, aswell as the little details on your face.

in that very moment, i felt a slight feeling in my stomach. one that i have never felt before, it was odd to say the least.

so unfamiliar.

i think that was the day, the day i realized i was in love with you. in love with my friend whom i used to attend elementary school with, i think i've been in love with you since our second year of junior high..

i just never really wanted to believe it, i tried so hard not to. i didn't think it was ever possible. since you only ever viewed me as a sister figure. it's just an assumption. though a lot of evidence to back up my "assumption", from the way you used to talk to me, the way you would ruffle my h/c hair, to many more things.

i'm getting off topic,

i think i fell in love with you because of how determined you were, and still are. you motivated me to do better, to strive and be the best i can be.

underneath all of the fake smiles, the flirting with your fan girls, and those stupid childish antics. there's a part of you, that's capable of being serious when the situation calls for it. you're a tremendously passionate person with a fierce dedication to his pursuits. that is why i fell in love with you oikawa.

it's funny, you go from toying with your former ace, iwaizumi. to taking pictures with your fan girls, who never left you alone may i remind you. then to staying up late at night, to either strategize the best way to achieve victory in your upcoming game the next day, or analyzing the CD clips of your next opponents game.

i admire you because you know your limits, you know that you're not as talented as tobio, you know that yet you work so hard to achieve your goals.

you're not some perfect pretty boy.

it's not all rainbows and happiness.

you're not the perfect boy you make yourself out to be oikawa. now matter how much you'd like to think that..

you're just like the rest of us, filled with insecurities. those thoughts that linger in your head, telling you to just give up. to just stop trying. that it's all useless in the end because "you don't have raw natural talent" "you would never be able to beat ushiwaka, or your underclassman tobio"

the thing is, you don't let your insecurities falter the way you play, nor the way that you keep going. you persevere and continue fighting, that's what makes you the person you are today. the person i fell in love with

the standards you set for yourself are so incredibly high, i wish you'd just see yourself the way i see you. even through your flaws, in my eyes you're amazing. perfect honestly.

Like a double-edged sword, those whom you consider as stronger than you. They have the potential to bring out the worst in you, but they also have the potential to bring out the best in you. the catch is, this gives you determination. it's the thing that breaks you, yet drives you to continue chasing after those ambitions you have.

and because of that, you're the "great king". the one who can bring out 100% in all his teammates, not matter who it is with, no matter what the situation.

everything that has happened to you, shaped you into the amazing teammate, and opponent you are.

was i not clear when i said your determination was the reason why i fell for you? let's hope i was or i'll have to grab the nearest plane ticket to come beat the shit out of your scrawny ass.

i'm proud of the person you've become.

i'm proud of the hard work you put in to be where you are now.

i'm proud of you tooru oikawa.

i'm happy i fell in love with you. i don't regret it ever, never have and never will.

with love, y/n

(p.s please come visit with you can you idiot. i miss your stupid face and that stupid cocky smirk of yours)