unconditional | e.d.

chapter 2

Marisol Pérez

If you could change one thing about your life, that would ultimately affect everything, what would you change?

Too many things in my life come to mind. How could I choose one horrible thing to change, when my entire life has been built off of fuck-ups from the people around me? And my own bad choices, of course. Everyone always reminds me of my fuck ups. Not that I care anymore. It is what it is.

I learned a long time ago that you cannot depend on anybody but yourself. But hey, if people wanna stick out their necks for me, why not take the advantage? I wouldn't be returning the favor though.

My family couldn't even be defined with that word. My mom lives somewhere far away from this town. Far away from me. The only thing I have to remember her by is an old photo album, full of pictures of her and my dad, before I came along. They both looked so happy back then. She left when I was 6. I guess it all became too much for her, raising an unwanted child, her once loving boyfriend becoming an alcoholic excuse of a father to it. I don't blame her. I bet she's happier without us.

Sometimes I wish she gave me a chance, and actually tried to be in my life. But whatever.

I barely even live in my own house anymore with my dad. I choose to spend most nights at my best friend Ivy's house, and we both like it that way.

Now it's time for my least favorite part of the day. School.

Westview High School. I fucking hate it here. Nothing has ever made me look forward to coming to this shitty school. It's my junior year, so there's not even anything super exciting happening.

I should be focusing on looking into colleges and getting serious about that stuff, yet I couldn't care less about any of it. But I guess in the long run it'd be worth it to graduate and get my diploma. Which is the only reason I actually show up to class and take the tests.

Sitting in homeroom, I look down at my schedule for the first time. They always give me some random assortment of stupid classes. At least they know I don't care.

Period 1: History
Period 2: Geometry
Period 3: Spanish 1
Period 4: Biol-

Wait a fucking minute. Spanish 1? I laugh to myself as I reread my schedule for a second time. 'Pinche pendejos. I'm literally fluent.' I think to myself. At least I'll be passing one class with an A+ then. I put in my earbuds in and my playlist floods my ears. It's too early for this shit. The bell rings, and homeroom is unfortunately over. I stand up and exit, turning the corner to get to first period.

History class; room 213. Of course, I get stared at the entire walk there. I know what people think when they look at me. I hear the rumors, the whispers. Some things are true, and some aren't. But that doesn't matter anymore; the past is passed. Nobody involved seems to care much anymore, so why the fuck should I?

"Hey lover." Ivy pushes me forward, ripping me out of my thoughts as I regain my posture. "Fuck off." I groan, too tired to be funny with her this morning. "Good morning to you, too." She says with a sarcastic undertone in her voice, making me smile.

"Show me your schedule." I say calmly now. She gestures it out and I take it from her hands. We have lunch, fifth, and sixth period together. "At least we have the last classes of the day together. Won't have to take twenty minutes to find you on the other side of campus after school anymore." I laugh, secretly happy for that fact.

"Too bad we don't have any other classes together." She frowns. "It's fine, I'll see you later." We walk into our separate classrooms before the bell rings.

I don't think Ivy realizes how grateful I am for her. Without her, I would have nobody. We've been friends since elementary school. She never cared about what other people thought about her when she hung out with me. She didn't care that my name next to hers could "ruin her reputation." I admired her for it. It took me forever to have that same thought process. But whatever.

Ivy and I were like...two peas in a pod? I don't know, some dumb fucking cliche like that. Our bond was unbreakable, and nobody could change that.

————

First through fourth period came and went. I met up with Ivy at lunch and we ditched after that.

"Yeah, and I got paired with Ethan fucking Dolan in Spanish class for a project." I turn to Ivy, laughing as I spoon ice cream out of my bowl, sitting with her in the Dairy Queen parking lot. "No shit!" She replies, slightly shocked. "I bet he pronounces words in Spanish like that type of white person." We both burst out into laughter at that. "God, I bet him and his friends are flipping their shit right now. It's too good."

Ivy turns to me, "Y'know I kinda see you guys together." She says in a teasing tone. "Ugh, that's fucking rude! I would never be with someone like Ethan Dolan." I push her shoulder, laughing at the absurd thought of me and Ethan being something at all.

He's nice enough, and maybe he would be good for me. But it wouldn't be fair. I would go back to my old ways, and use him. I may be a heartless bitch, but I don't do that shit anymore. So I wasn't looking to make any sort of connections like that. Either way, he probably wouldn't even attempt to be nice to me, let alone start something. No doubt he's heard every rumor surrounding my name.

I'm sure Ethan wasn't happy to be paired up with me. He's popular in school. A fucking jock, at that. Although, I will give him the benefit of the doubt. He doesn't act like an asshole like the rest of his friends.

We finish our ice cream and throw away the containers and spoons, getting back into her car. "Wanna come over?" She turns to me, a hopeful look in her eyes. "You know I do." I smile at her, and and she pulls out of the parking lot.

"Y'know, maybe your project with Ethan won't be bad. Who knows? Maybe you'll find a friend in him." She encourages, glancing at me from time to time, while trying to focus on the road ahead. "Yeah right. He's friends with Alex and Aaron. His brother is literally Grayson. They're my 'biggest fans.'" I shake my head.

Ethan and I wouldn't be friends if the world ended. I focus on the sidewalks we pass as Ivy continues the drive to her house.

This is gonna be a long semester.