What it's Like To Have Anxiety... And Overcome it

The Mall Scenario

"Leila, we're through." The words repeated in my mind like a broken record. Me. Justin. Over. Forever. God Leila! Get it through your head! I blinked nervously, holding back tears as blood rushed to my cheeks.

"W-what do you m-mean?" I stuttered. Tears started rushing down my face, clinging to my new Black Veil Brides shirt. Stop it Leila. You're humiliating yourself. Stop. Stop. Stop! Is this a dream? Is this really happening?

"Leila... It's just that... It's just... God how do I say this without sounding like a complete douchebag? Okay. I just can't date a girl with anxiety! It's too much work! And the looks. The looks..." He paused. Biting his lip, he looked at me, then at the floor.

"God Justin. One year, and one month of my life wasted! On a guy who I really thought cared about me! Wow. Just wow Justin. How could you do this to me?"

I heard a deep teenage voice yell. "AYE JUSTIN! WHAT'S UP MY MAN?" Oh god... Not Ryan. Ryan is Justin's best friend that completely hates me. "And who do we have here? Little miss emo I see?" He said snickering.

"What's wrong honey? You look sad! Are you gonna cut yourself over this?" He said with an evil grin on his face. I hate Ryan. I really do.

"I broke up with her." Justin said. God I hate those words more than anything. I thought Justin would always protect me, and be here for me. My face turned red, yet again.

"DAMN JUSTIN! GREAT JOB BUDDY!" He said patting his back. Justin looked relieved. Then all of the sudden, a smile slowly crept up his face. Is he happy that he broke up with me? Is he?

"C'mon Justin. Let's go back to my place and celebrate." Ryan said. Ugh. I hate myself so much. Why do I have to be the girl with anxiety? No wonder why he broke up with me. My face turns red whenever I talk to people, and I'm always nervous that something bad is going to happen. Justin and Ryan walked away.

"I HATE YOU JUSTIN! YOU FREAK! HOW DARE YOU? JUST WAIT AND SEE WHAT I'M GOING TO DO TO YOU! JUST WAIT AND SEE!" I screamed. Tears were streaming down my face. This isn't the nice, caring, Justin I've always known. What happened to him? People were staring at me. People were covering their kid's ears and eyes. What have I got myself into? I ran.