journaling // charli d'amelio

three

i'm walking to gabi's house and listening to music to calm me down a little.
today's the day i'm telling her how i feel and oh my god i'm so scared.
how's she gonna react? is she gonna be mad? is she gonna feel the same way? i don't think i can do this...
wait yes you can charli relax, just tell her, it'll feel amazing when you finally do. that way she'll know how you really feel about her. and you can also get the way she feels about you out of her.
i approach her house with slow footsteps but she throws the door open.
"hey charli!" she exclaims.
"hey gabi..." i say slowly.
"are you okay?" she asks.
"uhh yeah i'm fine. just tired, is all. i didn't sleep really well last night." i lie to her.
"okay." she shrugs and lets me into her house.
i take my shoes off and we go up to her room.
"so what did you do last night? i mean besides call me for a couple hours." she says and i laugh a little.
"nothing much, really. i got home and fell asleep until dinner after i texted you. and then after dinner we called and then i wrote in my journal for a little bit. after that i watched tv and fell asleep. what about you?"
"i wrote in my journal for a little bit too. i also wrote my story for a little bit and then i fell asleep at like nine." and we laugh.
"yeah. so um... i have something to tell you." i say.
"okay, what's up?"
oh no charli plan b plan b tell her something else TELL HER SOMETHING ELSE.
"um... your outfit is cute." i say.
stupid. oh my god charli you could have gotten that out of the way.
"oh uh thanks... yours looks good too." she says back.
"thanks." i say to her quickly.
the room went silent for a minute before we continue on with another conversation.

- two hours later -

after saying bye to gabi i walk up to my room.
there's dixie, reading my journal.
"DIXIE!" i yell, grabbing the journal out of her hands.
"I KNEW IT! I KNEW YOU LOVED HER!" she points a finger at me.
"THAT WAS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS DIXIE!" 
"okay don't be mad at me, you know that's what sisters do. besides if you didn't want me to read it you should have hidden it somewhere else."
"i don't read your journal but thanks for reminding me to do so." i scowl at her.
"go ahead, i don't care. there's nothing interesting in it anyways." she smirks.
"come on this is my journal... it's my journal, not our journal."
"i'm sorry but what did you expect? did you expect me not to read your journal?"
i give her a look that says 'yes, i didn't expect you to ready my journal while i was out of the house'.
"just promise me you won't tell anyone." i say to her.
"i promise." she nods.
i sigh and she walks out.
well, there goes my secret.
and knowing dixie, she's gonna let everyone she knows know about my secret.

* * *

a/n: hey yall lol sorry for the short chapters i'm just tryna get through this part lol. and james charles is a child groomer?? tbh i'm not surprised. i supported him at one point but it's like he kinda looks like a groomer. idk though anyways ily hope you're enjoying the story so far 😊😊 i'm gonna write the next chapter right away lol - shelby