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Jennie's memory Trigger warning
Jennie's POV (her middle school era)
Life
The existence of a human being or an animal.
As said by my Google researches is the actual "meaning" of life.
But really, what's the true meaning of life?
Why does it even matter?
Living is highly overrated, if you ask me. It's only a matter of time before we all die. I wish this process would speeden up a bit.
"Jennie" my father calls me from the kitchen causing me to shut my diary close. "It's time for school, get up or you will be late"
I lazily get up from my bed and walk over to the bathroom where I do my daily morning routine.
When I'm done, I make my way to hell. I'm not even going to correct myself.
I survive through a couple classes before I'm stopped by Sana, Wendy and Yerin, in the bathroom.
"Look what the cat dragged in" Sana says before capping her lip gloss tube and shoving it into her Louis Vuitton handbag. Then she made her way towards me.
I made an attempt to leave, but Wendy and Yerin, her minions pushed me away to the nearest wall. Yerin held the doorel shut as well.
"Nuh-uh, you thought you could get away so quickly, did you?" Sana said as the smell of her excessive amount of perfume filled my nostrils.
"Just look at yourself" Wendy started. "An ugly, fat, stupid, slutty bitch. Remember what happened with Kai?"
Yerin scoffs "oh please. I'd kill myself if I were you. People like you deserve to rot in hell. You got it?" I remained silent as tears threatened to fall from my eyes.
"Got it?!" She speaks much louder making me flinch but I nod anyway. "Good. Now, do the world a favor and die. No one wants you anyway. You just make things difficult" Sana said.
"Just like your mother"
At the mention of my mother, my waterworks finally began. The 3 girls start to giggle and smirk.
"Poor Jennie, can't handle people speaking about her mother, is that right?" Sana says to me as if she was talking to a baby. "Well, don't be such a cry baby" she added harshly.
The bell suddenly rung and the 3 girls shoved me onto the cold hard ground and leave muttering a few curses.
They leave me on the floor in pain. By now I was sobbing and pain was shooting through my head and back.
Reluctantly, I get up, wipe my tears off and walk to my next class as if nothing ever happened.
-
That night, I sat on the bathroom floor with a knife in my hand as tears filled my eyes. I'm going to take the barbie's advice and die.
I rolled up my sleeve where I saw cuts I made yesterday. They were just beginning to heal but I began to cut anyway.
Worthless.
Slut.
Stupid.
Bitch.
Fat.
Ugly.
I made one cut for each of these words and one deep cut for each of the barbies. It hurt but felt relieving at the same time.
I took a look at my arm to see there were red fat lines of blood oozing from my now pale skin.
That wasn't enough to kill me though.
I got up with the bloody knife in my hand and opened my medical cabinet.
I grabbed a plastic orange vile that was filled with white and blue sleeping tablets. I opened it up and shoved a few down my throat.
My eyelids felt heavy and I felt dizzy all of a sudden.
"It's time" I whispered to myself. "I can leave and finally be free"
The thought put a small smile on my face.
I suddenly lost all my strength and dropped the knife on the cold floor.
At that moment I hit the floor and was met my pure darkness.
Kim Jennie suddenly open her eyes. She wiped the tear she had no idea had fallen out of her left eye.
It was hard to reminiscing memories from the past. She was not the weak, vulnerable girl anymore.
