Fly High {A Kagehina Fanfiction}

Chapter 16

Everything doesn't feel real. It feels like a daze- tears blurring my vision like this is just a dream, and I will wake up in Hinata's arms any second.

Nurses grab at my shoulders, pulling me out of the room as they hurry over Hinata. I beg them to help me- to help him, but they just whisper apologies, and I'm led out of the room. I hear the scrambling of footsteps, and Hinata's mother is shrieking. The next thing I know I'm sitting in the hospital chair in the lobby again, hands over my head as I rock sullenly back and forth, willing the nightmare to end.

Wake up, wake up, wake up.

But nothing happens. I just sit there, dull and numb, with a cold emptiness in my heart that aches. How is it that I lost two people I loved in one year? How is it that when I finally found happiness again, it was ripped away from me. Cruel, harsh, and unexpected. I feel trapped, the room closing in on me in a nauseating smell of medicine and rubber gloves. I pull my sweatshirt off my head and look up to see a nurse looking down on me.

"I'm sorry for your loss," he says. He looks exhausted, but he manages a small smile for me. "Do you have someone to take you home?"

It takes me a moment to find my voice as it feels raw and hoarse. "I'll be fine, thank you."

For a moment, I stare down the hallway that led to Hinata's room. I see the bed wheeled out, a dark sheet covering his body. The sight tugs on my heart strings and makes me want to throw up, so I force myself to look away and head out of the hospital. Cold February air strikes my bare arms of my short sleeves shirts, and it's somewhat relaxing, but the pain is too much to bear.

I begin to run, trying to push away the heaviness that weighs me down, but it doesn't go away. I keep going all the way to my house, tears forming slightly. My legs burn, but I don't stop. By the time I get to my house, I'm a shaking, crying, panting mess. I have to grab the porch to keep myself stable.

"What the hell is going out here?"

I look up to see my father, towering over me in a loose sweatshirt and sweatpants, drink in his hand. His beard has grown out a lot as he hasn't shaven in months. I feel too weak and empty to talk to him right now. I can't deal with this now.

"Hinata's dead," I mutter, shoving past him. "Leave me alone."

"Who? Oh, him."

There's something about his tone that sets me off.

I snatch his stupid drink from him and smash it at his feet, not caring at the glass and liquid drops against my ankles.

"Shut up!" I yell, shaking furiously. "Just shut up, and leave me alone!"

And surprisingly, he does. He just stands there, staring at me, a hint of his old self showing. I seize the moment and turn away from my father, entering the house.

I dash into my room, throwing my bag aside. It's only 7:45 p.m. How have we just been in practice just about an hour and a half ago. How did we go from making fun of Tsukishima to... this? A guttural cry escapes me, and I hurl my pillow at the ground. I hate everything, I hate Hinata for leaving me, I hate myself for doing all the wrong things. It's still early, but everything hurts, and eventually, sleep consumes me.

*

Volleyball practice is cancelled for a week. But when the next week comes, everyone is so quiet and dull, that Coach Ukai decides to cancel again. Everytime I set, I imagine Hinata shouting my name, and everything I look around, he's not there. Setting to the others didn't feel the same, the team lost all the brightness, Hinata's death hanging over us. So I'm glad that he cancelled.