Agere one shots[discontinued!]

tensuga

little: tendo satori

caregiver: Sugawara Koshi

age range: 2-5 

TW: unintentional neglect and lots of angst [its kinda a rant post]

tendo was the dom of their relationship but also the little, suga didn't mean to but he made tendo feel as if he always had to be big. he wanted to be held, reassured, and cared for as well but he never asked so he texted the littles GC, it included: tsukishima and Oikawa. tsukishima was rarely on tho. 

Sato: imagine staying big so your partner doesn't have to deal with couldn't be me
Oikawa: satori, just tell him you want to regress. 
Sato: no... I cant.  I need to take care of him. 
Oikawa: sweetheart your not taking care of yourself. if you don't tell him i will.
Sato: no! he'll be sad and i don't want koshi to be sad!
Oikawa: you're hurting yourself by not telling him. imagine how sad he would be if he found out his baby isn't doing what makes him happy?
Sato: I'm too much for him.. I'm a crybaby and attention needy...
Oikawa: I'm going to send him ss if you don't tell him tonight. 
Sato: ok. bye bye tooru

satori put down his phone and looked at his sleeping boyfriend. he left him a note saying "Koshi i went on a run i don't know when ill is back. please eat something while I'm gone. I love you <3"

Suga woke up an hour later and read the note before his phone pinged. 
"Oikawa sent 2 attachments"
Sugawara read them and cried. "aw satori...im so sorry..."
"koshi? hey hey baby why are you crying?" tendo walked in while suga had started crying.
"satori why didnt you tell me how you felt?"
"because its nothing love. its not important. what movie do you want to watch"
"satori please stop avoiding my question.. every time i ask if you want to be little or if your ok you avoid it and change the convo towards to me"
"i dont need to be little anymore koshi im ok without it."
"satori..please.. i wanna take care of you."
"i dont need to be tho? cmon lets cuddle and watch your favorite movie."
suga looked at him no longer sad but angry now. angry with himself that he hasnt been taking care of his little boy, angry at tendo for not telling him how he felt. 
tendo wrapped his arms around his boyfriend and started the movie. suga wasnt paying attention as he was thinking about ways he can help his baby be happy again. he knew that tendo was always happier after he regressed. he knew that tendo liked to be held and he hasnt held him in almost a year because satori wont let him. suga paused the movie and got out of tendos arms. pulling him into his arms, "baby let me hold you, please."
"but your the one who needs all the comfort you can get and love that you can get."
"satori baby your hurting yourself by doing this to yourself you know that right?"
"im ok though. "
"sato.. why. why wont you let me in anymore! you used to love being my little boy! y-you.. you were so happy then.. why arent you being you anymore?" suga was crying again, but instead of tendo answering him he comforted him. humming a soft song. 
"p-please just tell me.. why.. why arent you, yourself anymore..?"
"because i need to take care of my lover."
"you wont let me love you anymore! i want my baby back.. where is he?"
"im still here love, i just dont need to be little anymore"
"you wont accept aftercare, you dont take care of yourself and your not doing the one thing that makes you happier anymore.. your not the same man i fell inlove with.. i just want my boy back.. the one who laughed and smiled. didnt sleep on the couch after a scene.. the one who used to be a little baby, threw fits. where is that boy.."
"koshi, i dont need aftercare and i dont need to regress.."
suga just sobbed and begged for his little boy back. the one who would talk for hours about something random. the one who would regress and let out soft giggles. went on playdates with the other littles they knew. 
"i want my satori back.. the cute little 3 year old who cry when he fell or throw his toys on the floor if he was angry.. where did that boy go?"
"nowhere koshi i just have no need to be little anymore. it takes up your time and i dont wanna bother you about it."
suga eventually calmed down "i just want my baby back.."
"oneday ill be little again."
"i want my little boy back before the next nationals."
"b-but thats next week!"
"exactly. if you dont let my little boy come back then you sleep on the couch untill you slip. its almost been 6 months since you regressed and i wake up alone after a scene to find you on the couch with puffy eyes.."
"o-ok.. ill let my self be little again"
"thank you.. i miss seeing you happy"
tendo nodded and laid in his lap. slowly falling asleep. 

this was a rant post in a way due to the fact im the dom in my relationship but also the little. my partner tells me that they love me and that its ok to be little but i dont want to let myself. i want to be held but i dont tell them. i want to be told that im a good person and that they still love me and actually mean it but i feel sick every time i go to tell them. i keep the conversation turned on them because i know that if i even let it slightly turn towards me they'll immediately know that im not doing ok.