The Goth Handbook: How To Get In The Subculture

How To Tell Your Parents

After all this planing, how will we resonate with your parents? If your parent are the rather chill and accepting type, no worries, go ahead and tell them. But if your have the more strict and conservative type then heres my opinins.

Tell them what sparked your interest in the Goth, why it resonates with you, and why you want to express yourself that way. (An aside: telling your parents that you like Goth because it's "edgy", "so hardcore", or "it's black like my soul" is not going to set them at ease.)

Opening a dialogue

Don't snap or get frustrated about it, but do get your parent's attention, so that they understand that you want to talk to them about something important and that they need to listen, and talk about what Goth means to you, how you express this, and also, what it doesn't mean to be Goth.

Everyone occasionally will go through a 'phase' and wants to change up their style a bit. But what if you have decided to become goth, which is a lifestyle change?

As a kid, you will need to tell your parents. Some people prefer to just 'come out' with it and get it over and done with, some people prefer to let their parents find out if they don't have the confidence to start a conversation and some people will shy away from the word goth as it brings negative connotations because of stereotypes.

So here's how to do it:

1.Make sure you know what type of goth you're going to be. There are many types of goths and they all dress differently. If you don't want to be a certain type of goth, it's ok to mix different types or do things your own style

2.Make sure you have answers to all the questions your parents may ask you. If you don't have the right answers, you will look silly because you will show your parents that you don't know what your talking about, making hesitant parents more likely to say no.

3.Gently ease into the subculture. Start with adding items of black to your clothing and gradually increase the amount of black you add. Also, you could slowly start adding different accessories: maybe start with a cross pendant and then add spikes and skulls.

4.Start doing research on goths and vampires. If your parents monitor your search history, make sure you don't delete it and let them see what you've been searching. If you get called on an errand, leave your device's screen on/lid open on a page that is about goths. This will likely spark a conversation.

5.Start reading gothic literature such as Dracula, The Saga of Darren Shan, Jane Eyre, Vampire Diaries. Your parents will want to know what the sudden interest is with old/vampiry literature. Your parents also may be impressed that you're reading old literature as the goth subculture is based around the 1800's. You may become interested in victorian literature and style and your parents may assume your sudden interests are history based.

6.Write down some key points you are going to underline. This can be helpful if you are nervous or you find it hard to have an in-depth conversation right off the bat. You could use a powerpoint or make a video. Some points you need to underline are:

What goth is. Most parents who don't know would like to know what on earth you are talking about. And many parents don't have a clue what goth is, even the stereotype. They may have heard a few snippets of stereotypes but not really be certain.What goth isn't. It is extremely vital that you explain what goth isn't. There are negative connotations linked to goths e.g. Goths being satanists, Goths doing drugs, Goths self harming and being depressed all the time. Parents may seem overprotective but they (in general) mean well and are trying to do the best thing for you.Why you want to be goth. If the answer is 'because I want to fit in', you're barking up the wrong tree. Why do you truly want to be goth? Do you have a valid answer to that question.

7.When you feel ready, calmly sit down with them and tell them you have something important to say. Begin explaining that you have chosen to become goth.

8.Go through the main steps you jotted down. If you made an informative paragraph, powerpoint or video, show it to them. They will more than likely be impressed with the amount of effort you've put into this.

9.No matter what they say, be calm and mature. Always. Different parents react different ways - some will freak out, while others will be glad you've found out who you are. The most likely reactions are "it's just a phase, it'll go over soon" and "this is just stupid, why can't you be normal?", so be prepared.

Don't blow up. It's unlikely that they'll say no right off the bat but if they do and you blow up, it will show them that you are im.

10.Remember that your parents have been with you for your entire life. They know you very well. However, they can be wrong about some things. No matter what the outcome is, remember that they love you and are trying to do what's best for you. You must show