Affection in All the Right Places,

Car Drives and Make-Ups

It was the next day, when Sapnap said he'd be free to talk.

And here you were, driving around the coast of Florida, windows ajar and blasting music trying to go over what you were going to say.

You had texted him you'll pick him up around 4, and right now it was 3:30.

You had 30 minutes to plan an entire argument, cry and get coffee.

It was a poor game plan in your opinion.

You had gotten two coffees, one for you and Sapnap, you had gotten his coffee how he likes it but you were sure he wasn't going to drink it.

You had even made a playlist of neutral music to play behind a heated argument and that was the point you realized, you might be over reacting this meeting.

You had almost declined because you knew your driving would be shaky in a cruise-argument.

You were nearing Dream and Sapnap's house when you realized, you were going to be stuck with Sapnap in an enclosed space, with the awkward energy being able to be cut by a butter knife.

With obvious second thoughts- you pulled up to his drive way, quickly put the playlist on and snapped a picture of his drive-way to him, not a word other than that.

Your chest felt shallow when you saw him open the door and start walking towards your car.

You took a deep breath and closed your eyes, hearing the door handle pull and Sapnap taking a seat in your passenger.

You went into reverse and started to drive around Florida, anywhere and with no direction, just driving to take attention away from the energy you and Sapnap had created.

Sapnap sat, legs separated and his phone on, he was rapidly texting someone but you couldn't see who no matter how hard you tried.

You let it stew for a few moments longer, before the sweet ring of Affection by Between Friends started to play

You were mouthing the lyrics to try and make the drive seem casual, considering both of you did not talk yet.

Sapnap shifted in the passenger, "Where'd you hear this song,"

You looked at the next turn coming, not making eye contact with Sapnap, "It was on my recommended playlist.."

Sapnap huffed a small breath, "I thought you wanted to talk what's going on with the icy tone and the weirdly accurate music."

You rolled your eyes in annoyance, "You wanted to talk, I was fine with staying home and drinking coffee, speaking of-" You pointed down to your cup holder showing two full iced coffees, "- I got you a coffee.. the way you like it.."

Sapnap looked to the coffees and grabbed one, you couldn't tell if he was smiling or just trying to keep a casual face.

You kept driving, the sun was going to set soon and the distant beach was beginning to die down in hustle and bustle.

Sapnap looked out the window, "Why are you so angry, I didn't get mad at you and I wasn't mean so why the hostility??"

You gripped your steering wheel, your knuckles going white, "You didn't bother to call me or even text after what happened.. Not a word of comfort and you didn't even act like you knew me when you woke up!"

Sapnap looked away, his face looked hurt, but honestly you were the one left in the dark.

He turned his head away and started to explain, "I.. I was.. scared. I looked at my phone and I saw so many pictures and my friends basically scolding me for going out,"

He turned himself to you, "I.. I'm sorry.. I was scared of what happened to our friendship.. I didn't want what happen to happen because alcohol, I.. I wanted.. "

You parked on an empty beachside parking lot, staring at the water.

Sapnap unbuckled his seatbelt and shifted his body to fully face you, "I wanted us to happen like.. in those weird romance movies where they just end up falling in love at some fuckin' aquarium or something.."

You had to let out a huff of choked laughter at his weird way of apologizing, you knew he was sincere but it still hurt.

You looked down at your hands, they were fiddling at your sweat-pant drawstrings.

You looked at him with glassy eyes, "If that's what you wanted then why did you just leave me.."

You had to shift your gaze, his face was visibly full of remorse and regret.

You looked at the distant pink sky above the waves. "You left me alone in my apartment, waited 7 whole hours for a passive aggressive text and then didn't call me for a week.."

Sapnap looked down, "To be honest I wasn't going to call you, I felt horrible and I thought that if there was no argument we.. wouldn't stop being friends."

You understood his thought process, they couldn't fight if there was no fight, but that was no way to treat someone you had feelings for.

Sapnap continued, "I'm just.. sad at the fact.. that we fucked after drinking I thought it would have been more .. I don't know .. romantic"

You let took a moment to think and blurted, "Then why didn't you ask me out! Instead of just inviting me to a party, giving both of us hard alcohol, and fucking me in my apartment, then leaving!"

Sapnap's eyes widened and face dropped in your change of tone.

You immediately started to wave your hands and apologizing, "No, no I didn't mean that.. I'm sorry.. It's just.. you could've done.. anything.."

Your eyes started to pour tears as your voice cracked away from speech. A whole weeks worth of hurt began to crawl its way out at the worst time.

You turned away from him and began to wipe your face away from Sapnap's gaze.

It was a few moments before you felt a familiar grasp on your shoulder, it was warm, comforting and with only good intentions.

You craned your head to look at his face, there were tears in his eyes, threatening to fall. You pulled him from his arm into you, almost desperate for a hug or any sort of comfort.

He quickly returned the embrace and you both sat, huffing air and fighting back sobs.

"I'm sorry.."
"Yeah.. Me too"

-

After your almost tear-free conversation, you both agreed to go for Starbucks and a sunset drive.

The car was zipping through highways and loud music was blasting, sweet Starbucks drinks were being sipped.

The whole situation wasn't resolved fully.. there were still unspoken questions with answers they were afraid to answer.

But for now, they were almost perfectly fine, like how you and him were before, except the newly revealed feelings and the idea of a relationship.

For now though, you were fine with this.