Bad Girl [Levi Ackerman x Reader]

7

It had been nearly a week since my fight with Captain Levi. I had tried approaching him a couple of times, but was ignored by the man on every occasion. None of the usual 'shut up' or 'don't waste my time' but complete silence instead, which hurt more than those words ever could.

My friends had noticed that I was more gloomy than normal, and the feeling was not going away. They had started asking questions, but I did not feel compelled to explain the whole situation to all of them, as I felt like it would make me sound stupid. Why was I so caught up in a guy who refused to even speak to me? Jean, Mikasa and Sasha obviously received all the details, because I knew I could count on them more than anything. But, even with their constant support, this depressing feeling was not going away.

During the week, I went through the motions of each day as usual, but kept spacing out every few minutes and could not keep my focus on a single task. We received more training with the 3DM gear, but I was showing no signs of improvement as of yet. I was wobbly as usual and at one point even got flipped upside down when I had stopped paying attention for a moment. It was incredibly embarrassing, especially considering the captain seeing it happen and everything he said about me proving itself to be correct. I cried into Jean's shoulder for a solid 30 minutes after the event, my usual collected exterior cracking under the new found pressure.

It was now Saturday evening and I just wanted the day to go by as fast as possible. This had not been my week at all, as such a stressful start ruined the rest of it for me. On a normal occasion, the words from Captain Levi about being the weakest link would only motivate me to do better - I was a bad bitch after all. However, combined with how shitty I felt emotionally, I could not find the strength to try hard at all. I was just tired.

I rolled over in my small bed and buried my head into Eren's chest, while his arm was snaked around me. His torso was exposed so I softly ran my fingers along its crevasses, feeling the muscles beneath his skin. I had taken up the boy on his offer to have a repeat of what went on between us last time, and we had met up a couple of times already, but never went the full way. Most of all though, I enjoyed cuddling with him afterwards. My soul craved the closeness of another person at this time, as the complete rejection from Captain Levi was really taking a toll on me.

"Do you think I'm going to be the first to die?" I asked softly.

Since I was spending so much more time with Eren than before, he noticed very clearly that something was off. As my trusted friend with benefits, I told him everything about the captain and how he had made me feel. It was only fair that he knew the reasons for my behaviour, so as to not get the wrong idea. He was completely fine with everything though and very understanding, so he was happy to be my source of physical comfort, as long as we both had fun with it.

"Not at all," whispered Eren, tangling his long fingers into my hair and pulling me even closer. He smelled nice. "You've only been here like a month and a half, and only just started proper 3DM training the other week; you're not expected to be able to do everything perfectly right away. Don't listen to Levi's bullshit."

I sighed shakily, a lump forming in my throat whenever the topic came up, despite being the one who initiated it. I just wanted Eren's opinion on the whole situation.

"I'm considering going back to the Military Police," I whispered, barely audibly. I hoped that he heard me because I did not want to repeat those words again.

Eren's body tensed and I met his blue eyes as they gazed into mine with confusion. "What? Why?"

My eyes began to fill with tears and I could tell Eren noticed due to how disheartened the look he gave me was. His fingertips brushed softly against my flushed cheek. Why couldn't I just be normal and be into guys who were nice to me, not ones who treated me like shit? I was beginning to like Eren more and more, but it still just did not feel right to me. I could tell he wasn't the one.

"I just don't feel like I belong here," the words were difficult to say and my voice trembled. "Most of the other new cadets are doing so much better than me, they can all operate the gear already. I feel like I'm just stuck in one place and I'm not getting any better. Maybe the captain is right about me."