Prologue

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Then

He's had another bad day which only means one thing. He's going to get drunk and take it out on mum tonight like he usually does. I'll hide away in my bedroom like mum tells me to, in the corner behind the wardrobe where he can't find me. It used to be under the bed but he found me there. Hiding away in my bedroom with the blankets over my head I desperately try my best to drown out the noises coming from downstairs but it never fully works and at night when I go to sleep my dreams are haunted by the screaming and shouting and i wake up drenched in sweat, my face soaked with tears.

The next day he's always a different person. He'll apologise, buy us gifts, shower us with so much love and affection that you'd never think he was capable of being the monster he was the night before. He always made sure the bruises were never where other people could see, so mums face would always look fine but inside she was broken and it was all because of him.

To anyone on the outside we looked like the perfect family, my parents seemed so in love. My mum had always been the doting wife, she would do anything for him. That's what hurt the most. I couldn't understand why he would hurt her when she would do anything for him to make him happy. Now at the age of 12 I felt I've had to grow up so much quicker than my friends. I'd give anything to have the life my best friend Nate has, his parents are the perfect couple and are actually best friends with mine. It hurts me to know they know nothing about what happens behind the doors of our home.

That all changes tonight, I'm not the small little boy I used to be that hid under the bed crying until it was all over. No, I'm a lot bigger now. Even at 12 I'm so much taller for my age, I tower over him now. I need to fight back, i am going to fight back. I don't want him hurting my mum anymore, he can't possibly love us if he chooses to do this to her, to us. His family. I have no idea what love actually is if that's what you can do when your in love. I'll never fall in love. I don't want to, I don't want a doting wife like my mum, I don't want any of it. I'm afraid if I do, I'll turn into a complete monster like my father.

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