prisoner. erenxreader

prisoner

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i'm a prisoner to my decisions
i'm addicted to a life that's so empty and so cold

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The operation was a success, but not without tragedy, Eren had agreed to come quietly.

It'd been a few days since arriving back at HQ, the attack in Liberio still ringing in my ears. I laid still in my bed still aching, reflecting.
A lot had changed. My mind was a mess, this wasn't the intention. To witness innocent civilians die and to end with one of my best friends being shot dead.
I asked to be left alone, Mikasa and Armin promised to drop by later to check on me.

I stretched to sit up and toyed with my decision to go and see him. I wanted answers.

Would he even want to see me? I wanted to see him.

I'd thought about him ever since he left. He left us in Marley during our mission to see Miss Azumabito. He left with nothing but letters explaining that he would entrust Zeke with everything.

How could he.. how could he betray us like that.

I thought about how much I'd missed him. That last night we'd all spent together in Marley having drinks, having a good time. That was the last time any of us had genuinely laughed. I missed him being around, I missed staying up late talking about life beyond the walls, about freedom and hopes for the future.

We knew his curse meant that he wouldn't have much time left with us, but it was nice to pretend. Pretend that a future with him was possible.

I knew where Mikasa's feelings towards Eren were but it was different for myself. Unlike her, there was never any romantic affection apart from the friendship. We'd all been friends for years.

I met Eren when we were 9 years old, he found me sitting alone near a stream. It was a hot and sunny day. I was messing around with a stick, swirling it around the water, creating shapes to disfigure my reflection.

Eren startled me by throwing a pebble in the water from behind. I watched my reflection ripple as came and sat next to me, asked why I was alone. I told him I didn't have any friends and I'll never forget that smile he gave, when he promised he'd be my friend from now on. We talked about joining the Survey Corps, our parents dismissed the idea so we made up a ridiculous plan to run away that day. Mikasa and Armin later found us before that took off.

Rubbing my eyes with my palms I told myself to get a grip, of course I had to see him. I pulled on my boots, buttoned my white shirt then tucked it into my off white pants and brushed out my hair. I took a deep breath in the mirror before leaving my room.

The pit of my stomach filled with dread as I continued down the hall towards the entrance of the dungeons. I felt my ears ringing with anxiety.

There was no guard, the door was slightly open so I let myself in. The door slammed shut behind me as I made my way down the steps, Hange shot up to look at the sound.
"Ah Y/N, you know you're not allowed to be down here?"

I froze at the bottom of the steps.
"I'm sorry Commander.. the door was unlocked I didn't realise.."
She shook her head jokingly "Not to worry, you're here now! Maybe you can make some sense of him." She said folding her arms curiously.

I continued towards the cell he was being held in and stood next to Hange. The darkness of the room was intimidating, I just about made out his silhouette. There were only a few candles to guide me.

Hange beamed her usual smile at me and squeezed my shoulder as an offer or reassurance. "Y/N, I was just saying, don't cha think Eren's hair looks good?"