The pain you give is my salvation

Chapter 1

I frowned at her sight. Not because I was mad at her for coming to me at this hour, but rather about finding out what Gojou did this time. As she sat there trembling with those reddened eyes, I felt a sudden urge come over me- I will kill Gojou Satoru- ...but I threw that thought away since she's my first priority to take care of now.

"What happened Izumi? Did Gojou do something to you??", and it was only a moment later when I had picked her up to put her down on my couch, when I saw the bruises on her hands, hinting to her being held captured not until long ago. However, she was still in no position to freely talk and it pained me to see her like this. My heart throbbed and instead of facing Izumi directly, I went to the bathroom to grab her a towel and some fresh clothing that I had put next to the sink.
"Take a hot shower and than come out to talk, I will make you some tea to warm up, ok?"

And she just nodded, making her loose short hair fall into her face while she walked to the bathroom. Another sigh escaped my mouth. I knew what kind of capable and strong- willed woman she is, so of course it must have been something bigger to make her show up like this.
While heating up the water did I brush my hair back and put my right hand on my chest. It became hard to breath and it took me a moment to realise Gojou wasn't here for me to be able to punch him. I was still in my suit as I had only been reading up to now since I came back from work, as I had painfully realised about what I'm going to see now- the woman I love walking around in a way too big shirt that I gave her and- ah. This is pathetic. She's engaged, I shouldn't be thinking like that of her but... Gojou may be my friend but this is just too much.

//Izumi's pov//

A little frown found it's way to me when I  turned on the shower. This is my third time that I showed up like that before Nanami's appartment, but what should I do? I know Gojou doesn't love me. And that he never will. So why do I keep on clinging to him, why can't I just free myself from this cursed bloodline- I'm only a Zenin in name to be used as a public display by marrying me of to Gojou, a fucking joke- . And yet again, he managed to use me. He had tied me down just to watch him make out with another girl, fully knowing that it would feel like he'd be stabbing right through my heart. Fucking hypocrite. Yeah I love you, but if I could I would've ended this ages ago already, I'm not naive enough to stay with somebody that purposely hurts me.
After washing my whole body did I get off the shower and put the clothes on. As far as I know had Nanami no wife, girlfriend or whatsoever, explaining why he had only given me an shirt of his. It was a little embarrassing but fair enough I shouldn't complain, he truly is my only friend I got left...

"Feeling any better?", he was waiting outside for me to directly push a cup of tea in my hands, only to then not even look me into the eyes as he went ahead to the couch.
"Please take a seat"

I nodded and went ahead as he threw a blanket over me.

"Yes I do... thank you once again Nanami... I'm really pathetic, aren't I? I will make sure this won't happen again- ", but instead of letting me finish my sentence did he pat my head with an unusual soft smile he wouldn't wear often, and it had its effect on me- he truly was my best friend to be able to cheer me up this fast.
"So uhm... are you sure you want to hear about it? You and Gojou are friends, I don't want to be the one responsible for your friendship breaking apart", however, he then suddenly pulled me in a hug and I was close to tearing up again. So I clawed myself onto his chest and clenched my teeth, Nanami was too good to be my friend... so I started to tell him what had happened befor I came here.

"He did what- ", and I can't be mad at him, because I would've been angry in his stead too.
"Please calm down it will be fi- "

"Nothing will be fine! He's been treating you like this for several month now, this isn't normal nor good and I know that you know that too!"

"But this is exactly why I didn't want to tell you! You and him are friends, it would be the worst for me to break your friendship apart because of me! I don't want him to hate me more than he already does... ", we both frowned. Nanami because he was boiling with anger and me out of desperation.
"You are just as much a friend to me as Gojou is, and I would be mad at him regardless if he did something like this to either you or somebody else, it's just inhuman"

As Nanami said that, I felt the lump in my throat slowly loosing up and I hugged him once more, I truly wasn't worth of him.

"I'm sorry, I only ever cause you trouble, don't I? This may sound weird, but... at times like these I wish I weren't born a Zenin and that instead I would've fallen in love with you... I'm sorry that really was weird, I wish Gojou could be more like you", I looked away in embarrassment, but I guess Gojou being more like Nanami really would be the best I could wish for.

//Nanami's pov//

Did she really just say that... ? And I didn't mean that in a bad way, because even though she is engaged to Gojou, it gave me a glimpse of hope I probably shouldn't have. It was kind of nice. I felt like I was in heaven and hell at the same time, because the woman I love so dearly is laying in my arms, but I shouldn't loose focus, an invisible barrier was still dividing us.
"Izumi... what would you do if you could leave the Zenin clan?"

I was nervous, more than ever, and what I might be about to do is a foolish thing that I didn't even think of doing befor but... it's all worth it if she could only be mine.

"That would be wishful thinking, but if I could... yeah I would leave without even looking back. And I would immediatly call my engagement with Gojou off!", and it suprised me. She said it so nonchalantly as if she had never thought about doing anything else, it had truly gotten the better of me and a slight smile formed on my lips.
"But didn't you love him?"

I shouldn't have asked, she was hesitating.

"Yes I did and still do, but I'm not going to stay with someone who will only ever be constantly hurting me, that's stupid. Letting him go hurts just as much, but at the very least I can say for certain I will be better afterwards, why are you asking?"

I gulped. Those innocent green eyes were piercing right through me and it was hard to avoid her. But obviously I can't just say 'I love you now break up with Gojou and leave your family to be with me'. Sounds about something Gojou or Yuji Itadori would say.
"I only got curious since you said it so confidently about leaving him, that took me by suprise"

And yet again I felt a weird tingly feeling in my stomach, butterflies as most people would say but to me...  that small smile that formed on her lips, those bright emerald green eyes and those short blond strands of hair falling into her face I- how could I not fall in love with such a sweet person. I envy you Gojou, I really do. If she were mine I'd obviously treat her like a queen, truly making me question why you would treat her like anything else...

"Nanamin dear? Is everything ok? Your face is a little red, do you perhaps have a fever?", my heart throbbed. It was some sort of habit of hers to call people dear, but even knowing that doesn't change the fact that everything she said or did would make me fall even more in love with her.

"N- no, I'm sorry I was just feeling warm, please don't mind me- "
.
.
.

"IZUMI ZENIN WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!"

"G- Gojou?!"

Owo.
I'm in a politics meeting now but yeah, spending quality time I guess.
I don't regret anything :3

Isa👁👁