Beating Back The Wolves

#EyesLipsFierce

I sat across the table from Ma'am Cecilia. I knew why some people found her abrasive— I was one of them. She appeared to be the type of person who had grown numb to hurting people's feelings. I had been working on this project for months— her eyes narrowed as she read— slowly looking up, she said, "No, I don't think it's a good idea. It won't work—"

I'll admit, I zoned out after that— I couldn't tell you the rest of her criticism. In an instant, my entire summers worth of work was in the trash.

I had been working as a Peace Corps Volunteer at this non-profit for a little over a year, and in my time, I hadn't come up with a single idea for a project that she approved of. She had ideas about what I should be doing— but I had opposite ideas— flashy ones!

I thought I knew more than this woman who had been in the trenches, smashing glass ceilings since before I was born. Ma'am Cecilia was old school and came up in a time when woman were dismissed— if you wanted someone's attention, you had to unapologetically take it.

She didn't have time to consider my feelings— women were showing up at our doors, abused and broken— looking for safety and legal help.

These women deserved her attention. To these women, she was soft and kind.

It was my job to help her educate potential perpetrators— young men who were still pliable and open to new ideas, like equality and positive masculinity.

I worked with Ma'am Cecilia for 3 years, and I spent a lot of it thinking that she was disappointed in me— that I was not living up to radical ideas that gave birth to our organization so many years ago. It all started with one girl in her neighborhood who was assaulted— she stood up and said, we need to protect her, and drag this man into court. Getting a conviction is hard, cases drag out for years, it's a war of attrition, where the survivor is forced to give witness, over and over again, and even then, it's often on the survivor to prove that they're telling the truth— that they weren't asking for it.

This is the world Ma'am Cecilia voluntarily stepped into. She was the strong shield against the darkness— the unwavering barrier separating these women's past, and their futures. She was not a sacrificial lamb— she was the shepherd beating back the pack of wolves.

Working with Ma'am Cecilia, you learn that everything is personal— not between you and her, but between her and the women.

That's how it should be.

I was concerned with my ego— she was concerned with whether what I was proposing would make a positive impact in the lives of these women.

In the end, underneath it all, she turned out to be such a lovely human being.