fake it 'till you make it | jjk

1 - friends?

"lost something of yours yoon y/n?"

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"The Handmaid's Tale shows just how easy it is to manipulate the scripture, to use it to one's advantage, and to oppress people, especially women, all in accordance with the holy scripture. Gileadean society is nothing but a microcosm of the broader world we live in today. We are no different than them and their mindsets. Because deep inside we all desire for control."

The bell rang and all the students jolted up from their seats, making a beeline towards the door. Our professor sighed in relief. Her one hour lectures always made us feel fatigued, but it was always worth it. Her insight and developments on our books made up for being confined in the hot single-windowed room.

I walked out into the narrow hallway, filled with people, squishing me against the cold cement walls. Strands of my hair were getting stuck in the tiny spikes of rock on the wall and I winced as I felt one of my strands get plucked out.

Just another day at Azure School for Arts and Humanities. Despite the rigor and cold weather, the school had become home to me. It was either that or I had forced myself to get used to it because I had worked my ass off to get a full ride scholarship here.

"Today's lecture felt longer than usual." Hani sighed, standing next to me.

"You're only saying that because you hate the book we're reading. The Handmaid's Tale was very progressive for its age you know."

Hani rolled her eyes. Whenever I talked about literature, she knew I wouldn't stop. I went on and on and on until I had no voice left to speak. She named these passionate rants of mine "electric drills". She said my tangents sounded just as annoying and triggering as the noises from an electric drill.

Fortunately for her, the sound of obnoxious laughter followed by a girl's cries stopped me. A girl with tears in her eyes passed by us, accidentally bumping into our shoulders while sobbing hysterically. Looking into the cafeteria, we got an idea of what must've happened. Jeon Jungkook was high-fiving his friends while laughing and shaking his head.

"Christ, he was only dating her for two weeks. He broke her heart already?" Hani scoffed.

Hani's words were now in my background, as blurry as windows on an early morning. My attention was focused on Jungkook, who was now sitting and eating his lunch. Now this is going to sound cliché so hold on to your shoes.

It was no surprise that Jungkook's arrogant personality and good looks topped with his hatred for commitment had earned him a place as our college's reputed playboy. However, it did come as a surprise that me, the literature girl who was richly educated on toxic traits of men, had a huge crush on Jungkook.

"Hello? Earth to y/n?" Hani waved her hand in front of me, promptly bringing me out of my trance. I blinked my eyes rapidly and looked at her.

"Lunch?" she asked and I nodded.

I always purposely sat down on the table closer to Jungkook. I was content with just seeing his face and feeling his presence six feet within me everyday. I had no intentions of confessing to him anytime soon. Soon.

In the whole wide world, the only person I had talked to about my crush on Jungkook was my personal notepad. It was where I wrote down the deep thoughts that came to my mind which were sometimes turned into poems. Most of these poems were about Jungkook, some might be about his lips, his beautiful doe eyes, his luscious hair, and his God-given art skills.

Being an art major, Jungkook was an expert on noticing every little meticulous detail in his art work. While he noticed the hidden features in his muses, I noticed the hidden features in him. He was my muse. Outside, he showed a persona of himself that everyone knew about. Rude, sadistic, playboy of Azure. But he was a mystery underneath, and that's what my poems were about. My mysterious muse.

I smiled to myself, reaching my hand into my back pocket, rummaging for my notepad. It was empty. My heart pounded against my chest. I couldn't lose my notepad. If someone found it I would be as good as dead. I frantically looked through my bag, breathing heavily, feeling for a pocket-sized book with spirals on top.

Hani looked at me with her food still lodged inside her mouth. She narrowed her eyes at me.

"Y/n, you're acting more paranoid than usual. What's wrong?"

I chuckled nervously. "Nothing." I said while clearly looking troubled.

"Lost something of yours Yoon Y/n?"

My eyes widened at that familiar voice. I paused what I was doing and slowly turned my head towards that voice. Jungkook was standing over me, his cocky smirk present on his face as always. But then, my gaze diverted towards what he was holding in his hands. I was no longer breathing, my chest felt tight. My life was over.

He mockingly waved my notepad in front of my face. "I believe this is yours? It has your name written on it. And mine."

Hani cocked an eyebrow toward me. She was equally as confused as everyone else in the cafeteria. I gulped down the lump in my throat and sat petrified on the floor. I looked over at Hani pleadingly, silently begging her to leave so she could spare herself from watching this embarrassing scene play out.

She bit her lip and got up from her seat. Taking one last look at me and mouthing, 'Tell me what happened later' she left the cafeteria with her lunch in her hands. Jungkook took her empty seat and I sat across from him.

"That's mine." I managed to croak out pathetically.

He smirked. "I know. That's why I'm here, aren't I?"

That's why he's here. He read it.

"Listen, it really is not what it looks like-"

"You paint a base of black on the canvas," he begins reading a poem from the middle of the book. I bit down on my tongue and looked down at the table, not daring to make eye contact with him. "then you paint a shade of grey and then blue, pink, purple, green. An odd combination of colors that you manage to turn into a beautiful masterpiece. As beautiful as its artist. Jeon Jungkook."

He finished reading and looked at me. It was exactly what it looked like. And that was only one of the many poems in there that were about him.

"I'm no poet or an expert in literature but it seems like you might have a crush on me." he leaned on the table, his forearms supporting him. I still hadn't met his eyes. The same eyes I had written verses about.

"I might, but it doesn't mean anything." I tried to run from this situation as fast as I could. My legs were itching to just take off and hide my face in my dorm room. He sighed before grabbing a hold of one of my hands and I blushed furiously, wishing this moment would end.

"Listen, I'm flattered but I don't feel the same way towards you, I'm sorry." I expected that, but somehow hearing it directly from him made my stomach turn. My face burnt with a mixture of different feelings and I felt a pain in the pit of my stomach. "But I think you're a cool person. Friends?"

He extended his hand, smiling at me. I could see he genuinely wanted to pursue a platonic relationship but this was worse than what I had imagined. Rejection was way better. Yet, I let my hand slip into his larger one and shook it firmly.

"Great. See you around." he said and left.

I hope not.

As soon as he was out of sight I groaned and buried my face in my arms. Why? Why did I have to lose this tiny little notebook? I never let it out of my sight, so how did I manage to drop it right where Jeon Jungkook could come pick it up.

Why was I fated to collide with him?

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hi! please vote and comment on this chapter! i would really appreciate it :) and don't forget to drink lots of water and take care of yourself 💗