random thoughts

I don't ask for attention

When you slow down from the fast pace of life and family and friends, do you think of your life? I do. It's the only time I cry anymore. I used to cry a lot. I don't know what happened. I just, don't cry until I stop and think. And you know what? In gonna write a poem.
Just because I smile,
Darling don't assume,
A smile isn't happiness,
A smile is a act.
Just because someone has scars,
And there lines,
Don't assume there cutters,
Dear don't you know?
If a smile is there,
Break through the disguise,
And see inside.
My scars are on the inside,
On my heart and brain.
My self-harm is my thoughts.
My healing is the tears I rarely shed.
Countless hours I've spent,
Laying down at night,
Contemplating death.
But then I realize,
My parents would be devastated.
My sisters a mess.
My baby brother born,
Not knowing about me.
I am selfish to think,
To take my life.
My dear, look in my eyes,
The door to my vault of a heart,
The only thing I can't lock,
And see my true mood

Wow that stinks. Oh well. What do you think?