The Egotism Experiment (ON HOLD)

Chapter One: You Kiss Yourself Goodnight?

CHAPTER ONE: YOU KISS YOURSELF GOODNIGHT?

Alice Flynn

I GLANCE DOWN at my watch when I hear the honking of his car's horn. He's forty-five minutes late and he doesn't even have the decency to come to my front door.

Very classy.

Heaving a sigh, I open my front door and I step outside. I walk from my porch to his car, which is parked in front of the curb. When I reach his car, I pull the door handle, just to find it locked. I wait a few seconds before I pull the handle again, assuming he has unlocked the door. But my assuming provides no avail. After all, if you assume, then you make an ass of you and me. Get it?

Since the idiot doesn't notice my struggling, I furiously knock on his car window. He looks up from his cell phone and gives me a bored look. He raises his eyebrows questioningly, silently asking why the hell I'm still standing outside.

"Unlock the door, you buffoon!" I shout angrily.

He cups his hand behind his ear, indicating he can't hear a word I'm saying. The genius finally gets an idea and presses a button, lowering the window in front of me. "What'd you say?" he asks. "I couldn't hear you."

Of course you didn't hear me because you're an absolute idiot!

"I said to unlock the door," I say flatly.

He cocks an eyebrow accusingly. "Are you sure it's locked?"

"No, Roy, I'm lying. I'm just trying to psyche you out," I deadpan.

"Geez, if I knew you were on your period, I would've postponed this date," he mutters under his breath. Before I can say anything, I hear a clicking sound, indicating the door is now unlocked. "Get in," Roy says to me.

I can't believe this guy! He comes late, he doesn't even come to my front door and now he wants me to just hop inside his car. What am I, his dog? I don't have the most prestigious expectations for my dates, but it's nice if they're at least somewhat of a gentleman. I place my hands on my hips and remain where I am currently standing.

"What do you want, a personal invite?" he huffs out of annoyance. "Just hop in."

"You're not going to open the door for me?" I question.

"Chill, Alex, you're not the Queen," he scoffs.

My jaw drops and I look at him disbelievingly. "It's Alice Roy. Alice, as in, Alisten up and open the door for me right now."

I hear Roy mutter something along the lines of "uptight bitch," but I don't care. Someone has to teach this imbecile manners and if it has to be me, so be it. Instead of getting out of his car, walking around and opening my door, Roy does the complete opposite. He reaches over, grabs the door handle and pushes my door open. "Get in, princess."

I inhale and exhale a few times, in an attempt to calm my nerves down, before I sit inside his car.

"You look smoking hot," Roy compliments, as he begins to drive.

"Keep your eyes on the road," I snarl, not impressed in the slightest with his flattery.

While driving, Roy places his right hand on my thigh and gives it a squeeze. "I think you should just relax, babe."

"And I think you should shut up before I punch you in the throat, babe."

Roy sighs and pulls his hand back. "Are you still mad?"

"You picked me up nearly an hour late. You were too lazy to come to my front door. You didn't open my door in a gentlemanly way-"

"At least I opened it!" he protests.