𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐮𝐬 || 𝐒.𝐓

| chapter one: ahead of ourselves |

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Your heels click against the floor of a nearby drug store. The door had opened for you automatically as your hair blew by due to the air conditioning blowing past you escaping into the warm night. You greet the pharmacist with a simple nod, reaching down to grab the nearest test.

You ponder for a second, wondering.

Should I get a few more...

Or is one enough?

You shake your head grabbing four tests in one hand and speed walk towards the cashier. An old lady who in fact knew you by name since you were just a little girl; arching her brow she smiles.

"Congratulations, Y/N."

You nod, shrugging your shoulders to yourself, "Thank you.." You don't have time to chat. You don't have enough time to muster up a fake smile to even acknowledge Mrs. Mako's existence.

Pregnancy tests weren't ever a confirmation of actually being pregnant. No. It was just the first step women.. the mini heart attack or the minutes of joy at the thought of being parents. Mrs. Mako checks you out and sends you on your way home with a brown paper bag; you stuff the bag into your purse harshly before zipping it back up. Shoto can't know yet.. he already thinks somethings up. He'd be late for dinner, not like he was ever on time anyways. But, lucky for you it's gym night - Izuku and Shoto always stay out late with Bakugou.

You drive yourself back home, ignoring the dizziness. Parking into your apartment complex parking lot, you turn off the ignition and grab your purse, stepping outside of the car and locking it. Speed walking into your complex you opt for the elevator just in case, pressing on the fourth button.

You had already got out your keys as the doors slide open, lighting jogging to your door you jam in the keys. With shaky hands you turn the door knob, and push yourself in. Locking it behind you as you hold your own breath.

Do you have to pee?

You push on your stomach, not yet. You haven't drank enough water, you take off your heels at the entrance and walk towards the kitchen downing the first bottle of water you could find ignoring the coldness in your throat. You feel like you're going to throw up any second now, but you have to keep it in, at least until you find the answers to your undying question. You could've just taken the test at work - or even ask in a favor from your friend who worked in the fetal wing to just give you an ultrasound. But this moment was for you, and Shoto.

To bring a child into this relationship.. it's questionable. To raise a child in an environment where mom and dad can not even stand to stay in the same room as each other for more than a second is nothing ideal nor healthy.

When the urge to use the bathroom approached, you head towards the door, locking it behind you and rummage through your purse for the brown paper bag.

Four tests.

Two outcomes.

***

Your hands tremble.

This feeling in your chest... it's fear.

Are you even ready for this? Is Shoto ready - can you handle a child right now? You stare back at the tests and then back at the mirror. Four positive pregnancy test. Confirming your fate, you're going to be a mother, and Shoto is going to be a father. You feel warm tears prick the corners of your eyes, stinging you as it streams passed your cheeks. Did you really want this... you always wanted to be a mother but not now. Not when your marriage is like this, not when you don't even know if you and Shoto can even take only one another not counting for the life that's in your belly.

He will be happy.

That's a simple fact, Shoto Todoroki always wanted to be a father - an even better one unlike his father.

You hunch over the bathroom counter laying your head into your palms, sobbing. You're so young. Shoto's career just took off, you can't even stand in a room long enough without even arguing-

What's the point of even crying?

You look up into the reflection of the mirror wiping the tears off your face, you can handle this. You wondered if the relationship could handle this - a child didn't deserve to hear their parents fight everyday. The environment you grew up in had no room for the person in your belly. It's a part of you and Shoto all mixed together.

But.. the relationship as you knew was falling apart right in your lap.

***

A child can not save a relationship, nor should it be used as a scapegoat in attempts too.

As the words rolled off your tongue, forming a sentence Shoto knew what he feared for, yet prayed for the most - he was ecstatic. Finally, he could be a better man than his father, a even better father! It was finally his chance, he wrapped his large muscular arms around your body - holding you close into his chest. He presses a soft kiss onto your forehead, "Maybe we should try and work a couple things out, make things a little less stressful." He proposed. You liked to idea of fixing things, the possibility of going back to the way things used to be seemed so great.

The two of you always desperately acted as if nothing happened, ignoring all the hateful words, and broken dishes.

Truly.

It piled into a mountains worth of problems, that neither of you were willing to speak up on. Suddenly, the fear of this baby growing up in an unhappy home dissipated. Maybe. Just maybe, the two of you could fix this.

***

You and Shoto enrolled in marriage counseling, having already spread the word that a baby was coming and all of your friends were far to happy. Thought, some were worried.

"I don't wanna seem like a debby downer but, Y/N, are you sure things can work out? I mean, I always loved you and Shoto together but what if too much is too much?" Momo asked, sipping small sips of her latte. Uraraka shakes her head in agreement, "Momo's got a point, I hope things work out. But I don't know, I just don't want to see you cry anymore. It's like the fights just got worse and worse each year."

You nod in understanding, reaching out for your croissant you take a bite into the warm pastry. "I get where you guys are coming from, I just don't think getting separated can do much good either. I just don't wanna walk away with out fighting."

Momo nods, reaching out for her spoon to dig into her cheesecake, she take a small bite.

"Sometimes fighting isn't always the best choice."

***

Marriage counseling can either result in heavy arguments, or silly tears.

The pregnancy with the additional stress from marriage counseling had you by the neck, you stand in front of the mirror. Fixing your hair into a ponytail and smoothing out your dress when Shoto signs deeply. You turn around, facing his back. He shuffled through the drawers or his nightstand as you clasp your earrings. "Is it working?" He asks suddenly, the shuffling stops.

You rub your stomach, a tiny bump not yet noticeable forming. You know what he's talking about, "What is?" But you act like you don't.

He drops his shoulders and walks towards you, his hands firmly press against your shoulders as he leans in for a kiss. His lips press softly onto yours, and for a second you feel like your 17 year old self again. But the spark....

He deepens the kiss.

Looking..

Searching..

Looking for the love the two once had.

The two of you separate, his face covered by his hair. A tear drops down his face onto the carpet floor, "I'm so sorry." He sobs, "What if we're ahead of ourselves." You cry, allowing yourself to feel the pent up emotions of a loveless marriage. He nods his head, his forehead connecting with yours.

"This has to work... if not then I don't know what else will, Y/N."

"It will...." You say, "We have to try."