Fake Happiness | jaeyong

2

In a space without a single light
When the darkness comes I lay expressionless, again and again
An еndless fear, a terriblе night
Wasn't with me back then
But they right here now
_____________________________

The first NCT U album since 2018, was a total success. With "Make a Wish" the title song of the first of the 2 albums, we won an incredible amount of awards. We even broke records with the music video.

To create a lot of content for the fans, the management also proposed to reintroduce relay cams. After all, the first round was very well received by fans in 2019.

"Yah, what's the order of the relay cam videos again? Or rather, who's before me and who's after me?" asked Yuta while he is playing with Mark's hair. We, meaning Yuta, Mark, Ten, Johnny, Lucas and I were sitting together in the studio.

"Lucas and Jaehyun, isn't it? My cam is from 2pm to 3pm and after me is Lucas" replied Ten sipping Johnny's latte, which Johnny only commented with a "buy your own coffee" sleepily.

"Huh? It's not Yuta's turn after me though." muttered Lucas, scrolling around on his phone

"Wait, where's Insoon-hyung?" Yuta called out to our manager, but found that the older man was nowhere to be seen.

"Insoon-hyung just got a call, but don't worry, I saved the copy of the plan on my phone," grinning, since the others would probably be lost without me, I fished my phone out of my pocket and quickly typed in my pin. Immediately I noticed again the many messages of the unknown number, and that although I had already blocked the number several times. Doyoung, who was sitting next to me, immediately noticed my changed facial expression.

"Is something wrong, Hyung?"

I sighed. Actually, I wanted to hide the whole sasaeng spectacle from the others, but now it was too late. Maybe it was better that way anyways.
"I think my number has been published..."

My reply immediately earned disapproving tones from my bandmates.

"Damn, do you have to change your number?" asked Lucas in an annoyed tone, looking up from his own phone. I shrugged my shoulders slightly

"This is my third number this year..." pouting, I blocked the number once again. Changing my number frequently caused inconvenience, even though the latest software update made it easier to transfer, I still had to recover all my data, memorize my new number, and communicate it to all the important people.

"Change your number if it gets worse,"
Johnny interjected, snatching the coffee away from Ten to take a sip himself. I nodded, shuddering slightly at the idea.

If it gets any worse, huh? 

________________

The next few days went pretty normally. I went to the studio, worked on some new tracks, had lunch with Baekhyun and Taemin and went to the dance studio to practice the choreography of new comeback songs. Dance practice went smoothly as usual. I made little to no mistakes, and my ever-recurring back pain also held back. The messages, on the other hand, did not hold back. They continued to flood my phone daily
We had about three and a half weeks left until the planned online concert and only about one and a half weeks until this year's MAMA. where we will perform for the first time with 23 members.
All band members were restless about this and practiced and practiced and practiced until they mastered the choreographies perfectly. Especially Shotaro and Sungchan were incredibly nervous. To distract them, I decided to buy them both small gifts, hoping to take away their nervousness a bit. One of my favorite brands had recently released new bracelets to reduce stress and anxiety. The advertisement on the website looked promising and I had already ordered 3 bracelets online.