silent garden | taejun au

silent garden;

I remember the first time I saw you.

In the abandoned and silent garden, where no soul was to be seen, you were sitting there between the most dangerous flowers, singing and talking to them.

Your hair shown gold beneath the fresh daylight, your smile shone brighter then the Sun himself, eyes piercing my heart, capturing me in a prison of dreams.

A beautiful picture set right in front of my weak eyes, so unreal, so magical, I remember the way my mind tried to wake me up, my senses screaming at me as if I was dreaming,
was it a lie?
And then you smiled towards my directon again.

''Prince in danger!'' tiny voices screamed from the earth, a sudden panic surrounded the dreamy place. Flowers talking?
I felt dizzy from the high heat.
But you shushed them carefully.

And I remember the way you took my arm and guided me through your maze once you felt familiar and safe around me, because
'I want to show you where I am from, I believe you will love it.'
I remember the way you held my hand softly.

I remember the way sparkles crowled up in your cold eyes as you spoke about your heaven of flowers, the importance and understanding of each one of them.

The words hospitality, joy, happiness and purity holding a special place in every of your explanations, while rich and beautiful sentences found their way out of your lips.

I think that I found myself drowned in you. Every detail about you made me want to get to know you better.

You were a beautiful secret, far away from the cruelty of the world and I wanted to keep you for myself for as long as possible.
Selfish. Indeed.

Even your name was holding such a strong glory.
''Oh," you turned around looking me deep in the eyes, as if you were searching for questions and answers within their ordinary brown colour.

"Yeonjun is my name,  what a shame , to not introduce myself to such a kind and lovely being. It is my pleasure getting to know you, Taehyun. Thank you for finding me.''
these words never left my mind.

The sound of your voice, is still echoing in my head, leaving me sleepless at night and dazzed at day.

Yeonjun, a beautiful name, for a beautiful boy.
And suddenly, your name became my favourite word to use.

The sweetness of it, the way each letter found its way right out my heart...
my most favourite word to use.

I still remember the way you bloomed beautiful flowers out of the ground with a spin of your finger.

I still remember the way you set a white pansy behind my ear because you were so amazed by my red hair colour. "It suited nicely", you said.

''Cherry bloosom represents the beauty and renewal of nature, sadly its beauty doesn't last long, though I am giving you a pansy with high hopes for your beauty to be remembered for as long as possible.''

I still feel the blood rushing fast up on my cheeks, heart beating a bit faster than usual, mind stopped thinking for a little bit.

And I still can hear your soft giggle and feel the hidden stares coming towards my way.
I still remember everything.
Every single memory I made next to you, because of you.

And so, the memories of the last freshly flower you bloomed for me, still haunts me in my dreams.
The last pansy I received before I left.

I knew I had to leave for a little bit, but I didn't know how to the following tragedy my living could cause.
How could I know?

''Please, do not forget me. And promise me, swear to me, that you will find your way back. Do not forget me.''
How could I?

A tear found its way down your cheek, up on your soft palm. I remember the way you cupped your palms and brought them near your lips, kissing the upper surface of your hand, and the moment you opened your palms again, there was a porcelain pansy laying softly in your hands, made for me.

You were a work of art, a gift to the nature, for the nature.
And I found myself speechless beneath your glory. Because everything you did, everything you were, fascinated me.
A piece of art. The most beautiful, the most precious piece of art.

And I know how much I hated seeing pain and fear in your eyes.
It didn't suit you. You were a pure creation of nature, glowing like the Sun, shining like the Moon.
No tears should have left your eyes if it was for pain.
No hurt should have touched your beautiful soul.

And I made a promise. I swore to come back.
And that was my intention from the moment I left your garden.
I promised to come back again as fast as possible. I swear to do my best. I promise!

But you need to promise me a few things yourself;

when my feet bring me back again,

when I step in your silent garden,

on this very day I come back,

wear your brighest smile and set  the whole world on fire.

Open your arms for me and welcome me in the only way you know.

Decorate your crown with the most beautiful flowers, this is what your glory deserves.

And wear your best clothes.

Because the day I come back, I am going to take your pain and fear away.

I promise

and so we bloom and bloom,
like the delphiniums in september
and the violets in february.
and we pray to be remembered like the forget me not's and the pansies,
and loved like the roses and the daisies,
because we only live once,
we only see once
but we love forever.

~~

taehyun found himself trapped in an endless mourning time.the endless daytimes were suffocating him while the short nights were passing by in speed of seconds, leaving him alone next to the stars.
the only company he accepted. the only company he wanted.

for a whole entire year, each and every single day he went to the silent garden and planted a pansy. white ones and violet once.

when the weather got warmer and when kids started playing freely once again on the streets, the feeling of summer was getting closer and closer.
so on the last day he saw yeonjun before his violet decorated body disappeared, the last day of august, taehyun planted 30 more white and violet pansies in the warm ground of the silent garden. and at the end of the day, when the stars were looking from above, when the moon smiled softly at him, he planted a last rich red pansy right out of his soul in the by now beautiful garden.