To Protect and To Serve

Chapter 27

The next trial was to be held in three days. Nashi was going to have to testify in this one. Her involvement in this whole trial had been put off long enough but the judge was getting impatient. She was to be produced or it would be a mistrial. Poor Natsu was nervous about how this would all effect his daughter. 

"We will prep her carefully." Erza told him. "I will be gentle with her and Kagura hasgiven me her word that she will not harass her. Everything will be fine."

"I feel like I'm asking her to say bad things about her mother." Natsu said.

"But you're not. You're asking her to tell the truth about her mother."

"It's just...It's like I'm turning a child against her mother."

"If it comes to that it will not be your fault. It will be Touka's."

"She doesn't want to put her through this either."

"Yes but not for the same reasons you don't. You don't want her to testify because you're afraid it'll traumatize her but your wife on the other hand doesn't want her to spill the beans about what's really going on."

"For her all her faults Touka really does love Nashi and me."

"I wouldn't exactly call that love."

"What do you mean?"

"Let me ask you a question Natsu. During your entire marriage with Touka how often did she ask you questions like don't you love me? How much do you love me? Why don't you care about me? Think hard before you answer."

Natsu did as she asked and thinking back he realized that she had asked those questions a lot. In fact she had asked a question relating to those phrases at least once a week. 

"Very often."

"Mmm-hmm. Now answer me this, in all the time you two were married how often did she say I love you?"

Natsu found that remembering her saying those three words was nearly impossible.

"Can you even recall the last time she said that she loved you?"

"No." He answered while feeling stunned. "No I can't."

"Natsu your wife is not well. She is an extremely sick and frightening kind of person. She's someone who desperately wants to be given love but has no way of giving it back. It's like a parasite. In a way she feeds off of the attention and love you and your daughter give her but she has no intention of sharing any of that love. And I will probably sound so cruel by saying this but this how I truly see your wife. She doesn't love you or your child. If she did then she wouldn't demand so much from you two and not give any in return."

"You don't know her."

"I know people like her. My father was like her. He smacked me and mother around my entire childhood, telling us both that we were ungrateful, that we didn't love him enough. He wanted our love but he had none to give us. My mother was told to leave him repeatedly but she refused. She thought it was her fault. That if she just kept giving him love he would eventually gave it back. But he didn't. It got worse and worse and worse until finally Mom couldn't take it anymore."

"What happened?"

"The final straw was when he threw me down a flight of stairs one night. Mom found me after work and took me to the hospital. I was in a coma but as you can see I pulled through but it was what the doctor told her that made her go off the deep end. They said it was a very lucky break and that in any other case my neck would have snapped and I would have died. Mom lost it, she went back to the house, grabbed my father's revolver, and shot him in the head while he was passed out drunk."

"My God." He said horrified. "What happened to your mother?"

"She was arrested for murder. Her lawyer tried to claim battered wife syndrome but because Mom had never made any complaints about the abuse the jury didn't believe her. She was found guilty of first degree murder and end up dying in prison."

"Did you ever to testify?"

"I couldn't. I was comatose during the entire trial. By the time I recovered she had been sentenced. But the authorities were merciful enough to let her see me in the hospital when I woke up. She was in hand cuffs but it was better than nothing." She sighed. "It was like a nightmare. I black out after my own father tries to kill me and then I wake up to watch my mother get taken away for good."

"I'm so sorry."

"Natsu you are dangerously close to suffering the fate as my mother. Like you she never said anything and she thought it was her fault. She didn't let anyone help her and she just let the abuse keep building up until she reached a breaking point. When you attacked Touka you had your breaking point but the difference was the attack was in immediate defense of your child and she didn't die but what about next time? What if the next time you break you kill her and no one can believe it's emotional stress or pain that caused you to do it because you didn't let the sole witness to the abuse speak?"

"I would never kill Touka."

"I think you would. I think you would kill her if you felt it was the only to keep Nashi safe from her. My mother killed my father because she felt that there was no other way to stop him. That no one would help her. I can't say she did the right thing but I know for a fact that before she pulled that trigger all she was thinking was that either she had to kill him now or let him kill me eventually."

"I haven't had those thoughts."

"Would you kill to protect your child?"

"I didn't try to kill my wife."

"Would you kill to protect your child?"

"This is not about-"

"Answer me! Would you kill to protect your child?!"

"Yes! I'd kill if I had to! I'd do anything to keep her safe!" He admitted.

"Good news. You don't have to kill to keep her safe. You just have to let her tell the truth." 

Natsu sighed but he realized that his lawyer was right. It wouldn't be easy for him to see his daughter go through this but he knew that it would be for the best. If Nashi didn't testify then his life would just go down hill from here on out. And furthermore he needed to stop defending his wife and acknowledge the reality of what kind of woman she was.