My name is Jhanvi Gupta and this confession is my last attempt to tell the world of my reality. I am a lesbian.
I first figured it out when I was 13. Unlike others, I was never attracted to boys and found girls attractive. I thought something might be wrong with me. But then I came to know about homosexuality and I realized I was a part of the LGBTQ+ community.
I told my mum about this. What I got was a threat that she would commit suicide followed by an hour-long lecture by my dad on what will society think.
My parents thought that having a husband may cure me off this homosexual disease. So, they married me off.
On the first night of my marriage, I told my husband, Ahaan Gupta, that I felt disgusted in having sex with a man. But he didn't understand. Instead, he became furious and hit me. He further raped me.
He used to repeat it every night. He knew I couldn't sue him for rape because marital rape isn't recognized as a crime. He never treated me the way a normal husband treats his wife. His actions further created a wave of anger inside me against men.
Now, while I am writing this, I am barely able to survive this marriage but I know my days are numbered. My body is failing and my insides are getting damaged each passing day. If I don't kill myself then I am bound to die by my husband's tortures.
Finally, I decide to consider suicide as my only option. Because in this world, lust always outshines love. And love is a crime punishable by death.
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Scarred
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