Almost

Falling apart

January 9 2015

Since the start of January we've been fighting a lot and its killing me I don't know what to do...

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He called me.... he was crying...

He said he want what was best for me... I said I don't want best I want him.....

B: You used to tell me that there is no forever, right?

L: But whenever I'm with you I start to believe in forever....

B: Lucy.. babe.. I don't know what to do anymore I think I wanna break up with you.. but I need to think about it.. I need sleep.. Goodnight Iloveyou.

L: Please think carefully goodnight, I love you more

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*Next morning January 10 2015*

B: Hey ☺ I've thought about it and I have decided that I won't leave you I'm gonna stay :)

L: Really!?? omo I'm so happy

and the conversation went on and on until.....

B: Lucy I'm sorry but I tried but it didn't work my feelings for you are gone... i'm sorry...

L: Why? please don't leave me..

B: I'm sorry..

L: WAIT!! can I have a last request??

B: sure what is it?

L: Last hug and kiss

B: is that it? OK sure.

and after that I cried for days still waiting for my last request and I've been drinking and smoking, cutting..... I want him... I NEED HIM.. he is my medicine.. He is like my drug... I would die just to have him... I guess my mistake was I told myself that I hope I don't screw this up but what I didn't told myself was Man, I hope this doesn't screw me up...