Season 1

Episode 1

Scene 1

[ Hawks Appears in his House ]

"... Where am I? Either I'm hallucinating or everything is in black and white."

[ He turns in confusion ]

"Hellooo? Anybody home? And why am I wearing this ridiculous button down shirt and trench coat? Geez, I look like I'm from the 1950s!"

[ Hawks is wearing a trench coat that falls to his thighs, a button down shirt, and black tights ]

[ Laugh Track Plays ]

"Wha- Hey, who's laughing at me? Stop laughing at me! You know what, I'm leaving, I am leaving-!"

[ He walks quickly towards the door and a Laugh Track Plays ]

"STOP LAUGHING AT ME!"

[ The door slams ]

Scene 2

[ Hawks speed walks outside and stands at the sidewalk, almost crossing the street when... ]

"What's such a busy hero like you doing in a place like this?"

[ Hawks turns around and freezes ]

"You're Dabi. From the League of Villains."

"That's me."

"Do you have any idea what's going on? Why everything is black and white?"

"Hm. I really thought you were on the smarter side. Tell me birdie, where are your wings?"

[ Hawks attempts to flap his wings but he can't feel them. He turns in circles looking for his wings and realizes they're not there ]

"My wings! I could've sworn I had them a second ago! Wait, how do you know you can't use your quirks?"

"I've been trying to commit mass arson starting with that-"

[ Dabi nods towards a bush in Hawks's yard that is perfectly trimmed. ]

"-But, I can't use my flames."

"Hey, that's my bush!" 

[ Dabi takes out a lighter and sets the bush on fire ]

"HEY!"

"It's called improvising."

[ Laugh Track Plays ]

"...where did that laughter come from?"

"I have no idea."

"Hm. Y'know, this seems a bit like a sit-"

Scene 3

[ Hawks appears in the door of the Post Office ]

"Wha- Huh?!"

"Oh Hawks, my maaan, there you are!" 

[ ??? walks over to Hawks and pats him on the shoulder. Hawks stares at him in confusion ]

"We almost had to have Gerald cover your neighborhood! And you know what a disaster that  would've been."

[ Gerald turns and waves merrily ]

"Hey Gerald!"

"Uh... yeah, who are you?"

"Who am I? Man, I'm one of your best friends!"

[ Hawks stares at him blankly and ??? puts his hands up and makes a funny gesture ]

"C'mon. Bert? Bertie? Herb?"

"... is your name Herbert?

"Yeaaah, you do remember me! Ah, I knew I was unforgettable!"

[ Herbert grins and hands Hawks his keys ]

"Here you go man! Your truck is in the back. Number 2 if you don't remember."

[ He laughs and a Laugh Track Plays. Hawks chuckles nervously ]

Scene 4

[ Dabi lazily sets another bush of Hawks's on fire ]

[ Toga skips down the sidewalk and looks around before spotting Dabi ]

"HOWDY NEIGHBOR!"

[ Dabi nearly drops his lighter but he catches it and walks over to Toga ]

"So, you're here too crazy?"

"Mhm! I like your outfit. 1950s grunge suits you well."

[ Dabi is wearing a black jacket and a white shirt with black boots ]

"I know. For what it's worth, you don't look too bad yourself."

[ Toga is wearing a oversized sweater with a polka dotted dress underneath, and regular heels ]

"Aw, thanks! Soo, I know where Compress and Kurogiri are!"

"Really?"

"Yeah!"

[ Just then, Hawks pulls up in his mail truck and opens the door ]

"Get in losers, we're going to the rest of the League and Rumi."

"You know where everybody else is?"

"I have mail to deliver to them." 

[ Hawks holds up a few letters ]

"I figure since we can't use quirks, I have a smaller chance of being murdered. Also, Rumi is stuck bunking with the leader of your League and I really don't want her to die."

"Miruko and Shigaraki?!"

"She might already be dead."

"And you're riding in the back of the truck for burning my bushes."

[ Toga jumps into the front seat and Dabi groans before climbing in the back ]

"There's not even a seat back here!"

"That sounds like a you problem!"

[ Hawks begins to drive and purposefully hits a bump ]

"Ow! A**hole!"

"I can't heeeaaar yooou!"

[ Laugh Track Plays ]

[ Show Ends ]

[ Credits Play ]