Finding A Family

chapter 1- summer holidays

Grief is a strange thing. It can change you for the better or the worst. For Harry Potter, this was just the case. As he lay on his bed, his back stained with welts he knew now no one was there to care for him. He knew there was no one left. Shadows of Sirius passing through the veil haunted him day and night while echoes of his last words rang in his ear.

“Come on, you can do better than that!”

Though he knew those weren’t towards him he knew it was true. He'd failed Sirius. He failed everyone. There was no point in life anymore. The only reason for him carrying every day was that he knew he’d be the only one to save everyone. Though there wasn’t much to fight for he had to do it for Hermione, Ron and Ginny; he had to do it for the Weasley's and for Dumbledore. He had to do so that Sirius's, Cedric, mum and dad's deaths wouldn’t go in vain.

As for the Dursleys, things couldn’t get worse. Day after day they expected him to keep the house spotless while maintaining their secrets. They no longer cared to keep him intact rather just made sure he was able to do his chores. The beatings got worse this summer. If it wasn’t for those dreaded dementors, things wouldn’t have got this bad. They wouldn’t have gone this far. Nearly every night uncle Vernon stealthy took Harry up without aunt petunia knowing the true reality of what happened behind the closed door; each evening Harry’s back turned redder with belt marks highlighting all over. Blood oozing and gushing out stained his hand me downs rags that were three sizes bigger for him and the bed. But he deserved this. He deserved it for killing Sirius and Cedric and for failing everyone.

But for Dudley, it seemed as though the dementors had given hope towards the world for him. It seemed like he had finally come to his senses and knew how to be a bit more civil. God knows what Dudley had seen but it had truly had shaken him up.

Before sending Hedwig off to stay at the Weasley’s Harry wrote to flourish and blotts, Hermione and Ron requesting for some books to advance him on his education. He did need to start somewhere. He did need to learn to save the wizarding world. He did need to kill Voldemort.

Waking up to a nightmare of all the deaths he caused and the reasons the wizarding world was still suffering he knew he had to do something. At his desk he dipped his quill into some ink and began Hermione’s letter:

Dear Hermione,

I hope you are doing well. I’m sorry as to what I brought on. You were right. It was all just a trick and maybe you are right in thinking that I have a hero complex. I lost too much that night and almost you as well and though I can’t go back and change things though I wish, I hope you can forgive me but if you can’t I totally understand you and don’t blame you. I was hoping you could send me some books to help me as I have to start learning somewhere in order to fulfil my mission and make a change. I know I need to improve especially on the subjects I’m weak on and was hoping you could help me with books preferably that are advanced. Also, though now it probably is a waste I was anticipating that you could seek a book that would help me with occlumency as there are prying eyes everywhere. Once again I am asking for your forgiveness and hope we can still be friends however if you feel as though we can't I totally understand and will respect your wishes.

Love,

Harry

Ending that message was heart-breaking but it was true. It was because of his failure in occlumency that Sirius died and it was because of him, his friends almost sacrificed their own lives for him.