𝐒𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐡𝐚𝐭𝐞 -𝘌 𝘳 𝘦 𝘳 𝘪-

eight

Levi

               It was the first time I had ventured out of my dark dorm room in 4 days. I had only drank from water bottles and feasted on granola bars. I had decided it was enough. I needed to get out. Even though all I felt like doing was drowning myself in the sheets of my bed- an anxiety made it unbearable to stay still. I had to get out, do anything but stay in my room.

                  I pulled a grey hoodie over my torso and bent down to tie my sneakers. I glanced over my shoulder before exiting the room. Fuck. I dragged myself back to my bed and straightened out the sheets. I kept messing with the black comforter until I decided it looked neat enough. Maybe that would motivate me into staying awake for the rest of the day.

                  I made my way out the door and locked it behind me. My steps were heavy as I walked towards the stairs. Where was I even going? I had no plan or destination. Half of me just wanted to give up and return to bed but I knew the aching in my legs in stomach would just leave me restless. I stepped down each stair slowly trying to think of what to do. Calling Mikasa crossed my mind- maybe proving to her that I could get out on my own would put her at ease but I decided against it. I could talk to her later. I still wanted to be alone. Besides she might even try to tag along. I opened the front door to the boys dorm and let out a hiss. The sun was blinding and I could feel a strain headache forming behind my eyes. I used a hand to shield my face from the sun as I stepped onto the sidewalk. I began to walk aimlessly, going nowhere in particular. The day was warm and there were other students wandering around- though they seemed less wandering like me and more determined to get where they needed to go.

                   I gazed over the campus at its sandstone and brick walls. It truly looked like something out of a children's book. A little cliché if you were to ask me. Still it was better than staying with Kenny and his piss poor attempt at homeschooling. Being up at 5 am every morning to run 3 miles while being followed by a pickup truck was not my favorite way to wake up. However it was Kenny's favorite way to wake me up. So maybe being here wasn't half that bad. Being away from Kenny made me feel somewhat relaxed yet something was missing when I wasn't with him. Discipline and hovering eyes. I had none of that while I had stayed here. Almost. I thought back to the envelope that held Eren Jaeger's file.

                 I crossed the green to a stone water sculpture. I gazed down into the water and focused on my reflection. My black locks fell and hung loosely as my own pale eyes looked back at me. I didn't have an opinion on the way I looked. I was simply a man. I cleared my throat. Well, close enough anyways. Blood wolf. The words crossed my mind and an uncomfortable feeling sat in my chest. I would never be normal. I would always be a cursed being. I went to sit down on one of the stone benches deciding to think of anything else but I couldn't help it. I was ashamed of what I was. I held a power I didn't want. Blood wolf. The words came to me once more. I wanted just one day at least to go by that I could forget what I was. Forget that I was Kenny's most prized possession. I couldn't help but scoff as I remembered the pride Kenny held in me. I was 12 when he took me to Washington D.C. He told me that it was a vacation, just the two of us. But it was anything but that- if anything it was the beginning of a string of deadly acts. I had never despised Kenny when I was that age- I never thought that he would hurt me. How could I? My beloved mother left Mikasa and me with him after she died. And I trusted my mom with everything. But after that day- when he told me what I was and what he needed me to do- I wanted to run away from it all.

                            I clenched my fists as I began recalling what I would have loved to forget forever. I closed my eyes and let the back of my head hang back. He made me start the acts when I was 14. Attracting other children my age in promises of things they wanted. 'Come with me' was all it took. I could smell them. The fumes of an omega child lingering long after my Uncle had mutilated their little bodies. Fear and anguish would stench the air making it hard to think straight. My uncle couldn't smell it but I could. I could smell all of it. Their scents and their blood. Each blood had a different aroma, none were the same. Being a blood alpha I could sense blood abnormalities of Lykros just by getting a whiff of the air.  As I grew older my game of 'Let's go play' turned into 'Let me have you'. They would throw themselves at me, the omegas. Not even realizing what they were doing until it was too late. The scent of an omega's heat and slick would envelope my senses yet it didn't faze me at all. I was a blood alpha. It was my instinct to seek- to find and destroy, not mate. Born to kill. Kenny made sure I understood my place. I would bring him his victims and he would drain them of life. Of course not until after he had gathered all the information he needed. Their blood type, the cells from their scent gland- even urine samples. Kenny worked for the government, at least that's what he told me when he was younger. I later learned that he was just hired on. A bounty hunter. But in my mind he was anything but. I was the hunter and he was the killer. I wanted out so badly then. Eventually I had no choice but to grow numb to the guilt. I began treating it as it was: A job. Kenny never let me kill any of the Lykros I found. He never told me why but I didn't argue. Their blood was already on my hands.