I Won't Let Go Of You

Prologue

It might have started on the playground in 5th grade. It might have started on the bus in 7th. It might have started in the cafeteria in 9th grade. Doesn't matter where it started, Sydney would think, because it still started before she got a chance to notice it. She felt it, but she didn't notice it. And when she did notice it, it was almost too late to do anything.

She couldn't pull Millie away from Iris, Polly, and Jackson now. She still, against her better judgement, couldn't stop herself from trying it. But with subtlety. "Can you sit with me this week?" "Walk with me today, instead." "Wait for me after class." Maybe it would have worked in 5th grade. Maybe it would have worked in 7th grade. And maybe, just maybe, it would have worked in 9th grade. But it didn't work in 10th.

Sydney realized this as she sat alone on the bus, twiddling her blonde hair between her fingers and biting her bottom lip, fighting the urge to cry.

And so, it continued until 11th grade. By then, Sydney knew what to do. From the moment Millie met those three, she was constantly being pulled away from Sydney's grasp. And it was so bad that she was going to spend New Year's alone. But no, of course she wasn't.

If telling her best friend the truth (her first plan) wasn't going to work, then she would have to lie (only as a backup). For Millie. And maybe a little bit for herself. But there was no way that Iris, Polly, and Jackson weren't lying to her anyways. Especially Jackson.

Truth be told, Sydney had no idea what Jackson was telling Millie that had her wrapped around his finger. No idea what he told her that had her winking across the room on the days that she was supposed to be giving her full attention to Sydney. No idea what made Millie pull away from her. But she didn't need an idea anymore, because once she was finished, Millie would even think of Jackson. Or Polly and Iris. But mostly Jackson. 

For Millie, Sydney had done the unexpected. She snuck out. Her! 'Little Miss Good Girl!' It wasn't as if her parents would miss her. They thought that New Years was just another day. And she wasn't bothering with spending the night locked away in her room and studying. Not when she had a party to go to.