13 Names & Goodbye

Goodbye

Why?

I read the note the police had found sealed in her coat after they found her dead due to suicide.

This is goodbye. Goodbye to that loser, wimp, nerd, bookworm, Loserson, slut, whore, bitch, loner of a person that nobody could call Annabelle. Just Annabelle, nothing else.

I wanted to cry, but instead I crumpled to the sidewalk, staring at the note in hand. I stayed on the ground for a while, even as it began to rain. The rain trickling down my face covering up the tears pouring from my eyes.

Later on I was lucky enough to have a kind police man gave me a ride home near midnight.

"Its late and you better get home kid," he told me. I didn't sleep that night.

The next day I didn't want to go to school, but I knew I had to. The rumour about her death had spread quickly. Everyone knew about her death. I didn't even stay at school for an hour. I fled like the coward I am, going home to cry.

A few weeks later was the funeral. It was an open funeral on a Sunday. I decided to go pay my respects. Dressed in my best suit, I left, hoping to get to see her face once again.

At the funeral, I ran to her casket immediately. I barely felt the annoyed stares penetrate my back as I looked down at her. She looked so happy, so peaceful. Her lips were curved into a smile and she didn't have her glasses on, like she used to. She was wearing a simple white gown and her hands were crossed over her heart, holding a bouquet of flowers in place. She was beautiful.

Belle; it means beautiful in French. I thought it was the perfect nickname for her, especially since it made sense, being short for Annabelle. Calling her beautiful everyday, was too much of a luxury I apparently couldn't have.

I kneeled down, sobbing.

Around me I noticed her friends and many others from school. Most of them held faces of guilt or sadness. I also saw her parents, holding each other in the corner, sobbing loudly. I turned away, not willing to look at their faces anymore. It was their fault she died just as much as it was my fault.

Annabelle used to be so different. She was top of her class, had friends and an amazing boyfriend. I cringed at the thought. I was her ex-boyfriend.

Everything was great for a while, she was really popular and sweet. I loved her. I still loved her.

I felt tears prickle at my eyes.

Then the incident happened. Annabelle's "friends" began swirling rumours about her. Being called a slut, a whore, and a bitch for doing nothing.

It was threatening our relationship so we decided to break up to save our relationship, hoping to get back together when the drama subsided. I should have never left her. I should have never left her. Should have never left my beautiful Belle.

The situation got worst.

Originally our plan worked, the rumours began to die down and it looked like it was safe enough to date again. But then more rumours started up, worst than before. All of Annabelle's friends left her. But that wasn't all. Right around that time her parents began arguing and fighting with each other. I knew that they were going to divorce, but I don't think she came to that realization herself.

It was hard seeing her suffer. I felt like I should've tried to support her, but I was too afraid. She began to become distant from everyone. Not caring about her appearance, she resorted back to wearing her glasses instead of her contacts. She was cold to people and became weak; easy prey for bullies.

I hated it. I shouldn't have left her alone. I shouldn't have let the girl I love die.

Why had she taken her life? Why had the girl I loved leave?

"Goodbye," I murmured. "Goodbye Belle."

Reaching down to her cold, dead hand, I held it intertwined between mine.

~>•

Hi guys.

So um. That was depressing wasn't it? Sorry if that wasn't what you were looking for...
Anyways, I have a message for you guys, so listen up!
SUICIDE IS NOT THE ANSWER!!! THERE ARE PEOPLE OUT THERE THAT CARE ABOUT YOU. PLEASE DON'T END YOUR LIFE BECAUSE YOU END THE CHANCE OF ANYTHING GETTING BETTER!!

Anyways, this was a short story I wrote a few years ago for suicide awareness week. Thought I would post it because I have nothing better to do.

Thanks so much!

KC