so far (so good)

3

TW: panic attack 

word count: 870

I woke up, it was still pitch black outsider the Window. I look at the clock, 03:45. What's one more sleep less night? I can't go up now tho, it's way too early. I went downstairs to get a cup of water and meet Hunter's little sister, Samantha; a real little bitch.

"What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be home?" She said with a snort, she is that typical white annoying bitch, she bullies everyone that isn't her friends, and hates everyone who Is not cishet; that will say me and Hunter, especially me.

"I stayed the night. It doesn't disturb you so why do you care?" I spat back at her; tired of all her nonsense. She immediately stormed out and I couldn't help but smile when she got mad.

"what's going on? I heard someone argue with Samantha; and I wouldn't want to miss that for the world.'' Hunter said in a sleep raspy voice.

"no, sadly she ran off quite fast" I answered sipping my water. we then walked back to bed, thanks to my insomnia i didn't fall asleep till after it had already passed 5 o'klock.

By 6:30 I woke up in a cold sweat, my throat sore from the screamin, Hunter had shaken me awake, concerned as to my mental state; even though they knew very well that the night terrors were a common thing for me to experience. I slowly sat up rubbing my eyes awake.

"Are you ok, and don't give me the 'i'm fine' because you are clearly not." Hunter said, and they were right, I wasn't fine, i haven't been for a long period of time but I didn't even know why so how could i possibly tell Hunter that, if even I don't know what's wrong.

"I don't know, I thought that the night terrors had gotten better, but I guess they haven't. I at least got some sleep tonight before I hav to head off to work." and i did think the night terrors had gotten better but boy was i wrong on that end, this night was probably one of the worst ones yet.

"you wanna talk about it? or are you just gonna shout me out. Before you say you don't know what im talking about, you do know and don't pretend otherwise, i'm your best friend you know you can talk to me about anything and i won't invalidate it. I don't care what you have done or what's going on, I'm with you no matter what happens'' Hunter said. They always knew exactly what I needed to hear at the times. I could feel tears forming in my eyes, and my whole body started shaking, my breathing became irregular and shallow. Hunter notices immediately before I had even realised what was happening, they wrap their arms around me. at that moment it became too much for me to handle, I had a harder time to breathe and my hands and feet started to feel numb. Hunter let me go and held my hands to keep me from hitting myself or biting in hopes it would calm me though it never worked; it would only result in bruises or other forms of wounds. Hunter stood up and helped me to stand, my legs were shaking so much that it was hard to stand and I had to lean on Hunter for support. They help me out to get some fresh air, we sat down in the grass and hunter keep talking trying to calm my panic, so it would go away sooner rather than later; we both knew that it would go away, it wasn't the first time i has had a panic attack, they were rather common lately. After fifteen minutes it had begun to subside, I was still shaking but my breathing was more regular. I began to stand up but I stubbed because I hadn't gotten that much oxygen to my brain while hyperventilating, I quickly regained my balans.

"are you gonna join me, i'm going to have breakfast?" I simply asked.

"Are you just going to ignore what just happened,and walk away like normal?" I got a questioning stare from Hunter.

"what? it's not like it is something new. I'm going to get ready, then I need to get to my job." I turned around and walked inside, it was almost 7, so I had to hurry. when i was done i walked in to town, i couldn't get hunters mad stare out of my head, tears started to form in my eyes once again, I couldn't bare the thought of Hunter being mad at me, they meant everything to me, I could always depend on them and talk to them about everything, we had been beside each other thru everything. we helped each other find our true self, we helped each other through the worst and the best moments, whenever one needed help the other was always there, no matter what. I couldn't stand it that Hunter was mad at me, I completely broke down, I got to the shop but no one had gotten there yet so I sat down on a bench still crying.