Hold on to you

Chapter 1

I heard a song on the radio the other day. It reminded me of you. The memory of your green eyes. It made me sad? But I guess what the other angels said was true. I love you. I just hoped that you loved me too.

"Hey guys, I got something" Sam yells to Castiel and Jack.

"What's the case" jacks asked. Sam hesitated on telling jack right away.

"You're worried Cas won't come?"

"He's having a rough time, we all are but I think he needs ai-" he shuts up when he sees cas walk in.

"Where we heading?" Cas speaks.

Sam goes on to explain the case. It's a vampire hunt, Boulder City. It'd be an easy hunt.

They got into baby and Sam starting driving.

"There's so many pretty lights!" Jack yells from the back seat.

Cas annoyed by the kid words, looks over at Sam.

"Did you have to go through Vegas." Now giving Sam a stank eye.

"Sorry. The other roads to Boulder are close."

*Boulder City*

"It's still night time so I'm going to get some sleep, jack bed time. We'll try to find the nest in the morning" Sam says before crashing on the bed.

Jack lays in the other bed and sees cas sitting on the couch tired. He hated seeing his dad sad. He eventually feel asleep, he is half human after all.

*cas pov*
I keep thinking what if I had never meet you. The pain would just not exist. Yet I don't want to live in a world, where I don't know you. I miss you.

"Hey cas"

"Hey dean" Cas smiles

"Let's go for a walk" dean says putting his hand out for cas.

Cas grabs deans hand and follows him. They walk with each other. Not making a noise. Just taking in the air of the cold night.

"The stars are so beautiful, I've always been In love with the night." Dean says with a small laugh.

Cas just smiles at his human. They walked back to the cheap motel but didn't go back into the room.

"Baby looks beautiful as ever, tell me Sam hasn't douched her up." Dean asks Cas while looking inside his precious impala.

Cas didn't get time to answer when Sam interrupts .

"Hey Cas, you okay? Why are you outside?"

Cas looks at the impala and sighs.

"Hey Sam, yeah I'm okay, wanted some air" Cas reply's to Sam and walks back to the room.

*back in the room* Sam goes back to sleep and cas sits in the couch. He closes his eyes.

*flashback*

"You have to go. NOW CASTIEL!" Dean yells

"I am not leaving you dean."

"It's NOT SAFE" dean yells again.

"I'm an angel, I'll be fine" Cas says.

"CASTIEL YOURE ANGELIC POWERS ARE GONE..."

"I'm so sorry" dean says quietly before pushing cas out the door and locking it.

"NO! No no no no." Cas yells trying to knock the door down.

Then it happened. The scream that changed the angels life.

"DEAN! NO! FUCKING WINCHESTER!" Cas yells with tears in his eyes.

Knocking down the door finally. The first thing he sees is dean laying on the floor. He feel his heart break.

Cas kneels to dean and bring him into his arms.

"Dean? Please. Don't do this to me. Please. Please wake up." Cas begs into deans lifeless body.

"I promise to never let go. Okay? Dean? I will get you back. Dean? I love you."

FUCK YOU DAD!

*end of flashback*

Cas opens his eyes again, tears running down his face. At this time morning was just arriving and jack woke up.

"Cas? Why are you crying?"

"Oh um, didn't know you woke up kiddo, I'm fine, I got to go somewhere I'll be back soon, call me when Sam wake up." Cas said and left the motel.

He went to a church and sat in the steps outside.

"Duma!" Cas yelled and waited.

"What now castiel?" Duma asked.

"Bring him back to me. NOW!" Cas ordered

"We've been through this I can't, castiel."

"Why not" cas asked

"DEANS NOT IN HEAVEN!"