Don't Let Go

The Beginning

Where do I start? You'd think at the beginning but what is there really to tell at the start of an ongoing clusterfuck of a journey I didn't mean to take? Through all the tears, laughs, bouts of anger and rage. Time is a fucking gem. I love it, it's valuable but it's also a pain in the foot when I step on it. Also, I would advise you not to continue if you're easily offended by silly words like fuck, bitch, shit, etc. I swear a lot, even though I don't mean to do so.

Anyways, hey, my name is Talia. And this is my story.
Once upon a time...
Just kidding. Imagine if the story actually went like that. You'd probably believe it was non fiction wouldn't you? Well, jokes on you because it is! Then at the beginning it is. I would snap my fingers and we are glitched through time like the sprinkle of water on a marble stepping stone. Quick and easy, right? Oh look! There I am, sitting peacefully on my bed in an old 1900 brick house with the creepiest attic you would ever look upon. Let's see how this plays out.
Talia sat on her bed, writing in a journal she would think was her lifeline at the time. 2010? Those were the days. Just getting to use a cell phone, the internet was a thing so talking to boys online? That was the best. What else are you going to do at 15/16 years old? No social life, only video games.
After she had finished writing a page of nonsense she would sluggishly pull her feet from her bed and place them gingerly on the cold, wooden floor. "My life fucking sucks." She said under her breath as she hoisted herself into a standing position. She forced her muscles to carry her weight to the bathroom.
Before long she could be seen in the living room, grabbing the ole guitar hero guitar and playing for hours. Her mom had just bought world tour, which quickly became her favourite at the time. Oh yeah, life was great!
She would play online against other people for hours on end. But one person in particular caught her eye. They could keep up at her level and damn. They were good. Beat her at every single song they played except; rooftops. That was her shit. She beat it at 100%, but the other person missed a note and suddenly he was left in the dust. She felt superior.
She ended up adding this person on Xbox, little did she know that he would later become one of the most important people in her life.
They would play for hours and hours, until her mom made her go to sleep.
And that was the beginning. The beginning of a feeling she wouldn't be able to shake. The beginning of a love that would never end.

-Skip ahead to age 17- because we don't want to talk about the traumatic stuff that happened in between.

Talia switched schools for the millionth time, or so it seemed. This time it was an alternative school. It was small, and comfortable. She quickly remembered some of her friends, so it wasn't hard to get acclimated.
By this time, she was single, naive and very immature. She thought she had her whole life figured out. She was on track to graduate, she was excelling in art and she was headed to success. Or so she thought.
    During her stay at this school, she was back and forth with a few people. One of which was one of those boys that you wish you never met. He was charming, funny, cute but a huge fuck boy. They dated for most of the first half of school, and then he broke up with her because he wanted to get back with his ex. Come to find out, that he never broke up with her in the first place.
   Towards the end of her school career, she met someone she thought would be her world. They clicked, he was cute, and the best part is he messaged her first. Yes, long distance. Ohhhh what a time she had dating online. Many were failed. One would have been successful, but he couldn't handle the distance even after 2 years. Which is fine, it's fine...
   This boy made her fall head over heels for him. She was wrapped around his fucking finger. And she never knew what she was getting herself into.
   He traveled cross country to be with her. She thought she was special. Because he had never made such an effort for anyone else. They would stay up all night talking to each other. He would stand in a corner of a room in his dads house just to talk to her.
   Her heart ached for him. Thought they were only together a short time. She thought she was in love. But what she didn't know, is he would be one of the biggest mistakes she would have ever made.
  A month after he had moved for her and she would find out that she was pregnant with his child. She had a lot of mixed feelings, but she felt happy... She did feel happy, didn't she? She worked for a short time before she had her baby. They lived in their own apartment, with their first pet; a kitten named Tobi. He was such a crazy boy.
  
-skip ahead to age 25- because all the shit in between is boring and i don't want to talk about it.

    Just to recap everything that was skipped during that time jump; i got cheated on, Tobi died, we moved a bunch of times, I had another baby, me and Carlos got married, and we finally got our own place. I reconnected with one of my best friends. Lots of gaming. Exciting, right?
  
   Talia opened her eyes, staring up at her ceiling for what seems like the millionth time. It was late at night and again she couldn't fall asleep. Thoughts were keeping her awake. Often she thought back to when she was in the old brick house. What a time she had. It was one of the best times of her life, yet she lay here next to a guy she started to resent for the way he treated her, wishing she could be somewhere else.
   She grunted as she rolled off of their bed, 18" and then some off the ground. Back to her normal routine, taking care of their children and expected to clean the house like the little house wife she wished she wasn't. She sighed, going back to her boring, normal life.
   Her feet treaded against the cold floor as she made her way to the kids' room. "Nea, time to get up for school." She said softly to not wake her other child. The little girl rolled off her bed with a grumble. Talia picked her up and brought her to the living room to get dressed up and ready for school. "Remember to wear your jacket. Because its cold outside baby."
   Nea rolled her eyes and put on the outfit her mom got ready for school. After getting dressed up, she threw her back pack on her shoulders and slipped her feet into the small boots. Out the door they went, to stand at the bus stop. After Nea left for school, Talia walked sluggishly back to her house, slipped off her shoes on her way in, then crawled back into her bed next to Carlos. She sighed, cuddling up under her separated blanket. Life could be worse, right?

-skip ahead to the present- because who liked the boring stuff? Honestly.

   Talia had been excitedly planning a trip with her best friends for a while now. They had everything planned, booked, and ready to go. She suddenly got very anxious as the time passed quickly. Before she knew it it was time. Finally, a break that she deserved.

   She frowned thinking about having to go back to work after her trip was done. Her frown quickly turned to a smile as motivation set in. Finally. She would be making a lot of money. She was going to be able to support her family. Most importantly, she was going to be able to save up the money to move away from Carlos. After he had made her feel like the scum of the earth, she knew it was time to go.
   As she gamed with her friends one night, she talked about her plan. They all of course supported her decision because they didn't like how he treated her. So she was going to try her best to do what she can for her babies.
   Her thoughts were messy that night. She was ready to give up. Her husband had put her in a spot of discomfort. She was upset, of course, but she was feeling like she didn't deserve anything. Like her life was meaningless. Then she got a sprinkle of her children in those dark thoughts. She stopped and looked up from her hands, tears streaming down her cheeks. I can't... I need to push on. For my babies. She thought to herself.
  

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Ill try to update as fast as i can. But it only comes to me sometimes. 😅😅 if you like it, please let me know! I need more motivation for part 2 🥲🥲