My old friend

I did It, I escaped but at what cost? I haven't seen grass in so long. the grass feels week as though I could make it disappear with the snap of my fingers. I feel so powerful out of my white containment room. Years stuck there doing nothing except tests, thinking, and being fed the minimum to keep me alive. It was torture waking up at the same time every day to a blank room just contemplating life until I got food then going back to just thinking. if I was lucky I had experiments done to me to see 'how the mind of the serial killer works'. After three years they eventually came to the conclusion I'm a stubborn unhelpful sociopath which I can neither confirm nor deny. Now I'm free but what do I do? I hadn't thought this part through. Now I am rid of the white blankness I don't know. So I steal.

As I walk down the street to the supermarket, I feel a looming atmosphere of depression that I did not feel last time. The world has changed significantly in seven years. All the shops look like they're depressed adults working 9-5 every day. All the signs are simple no cat dog and cat in the pet shop logo or bright colours in the stationary shop all that's left are shades of Gray. I see completely different buildings littering the streets. More shops and less greenery. There is smoke covering the sky and the factories have tripled in both size and numbers. I see posters with things like 'stand up for human rights' and 'modern slavery is still slavery. I also see bright posters advertising ultimately boring products but because they are surrounded by bright colours and lies about the quality the average person falls for it and buys the product.

I get to the supermarket. the beeping of the checkouts and the children pleading for cand becoming white noise. Some people stare at me as I look like a person who has not changed clothes in a month which is partially true, but I decide to ignore them and walk to the toiletries aisle and take a toothbrush, toothpaste, and a hairbrush I then head to the fresh food section and take a couple of apples. It's so long since I have had real food instead of sloppy brown chunky soup. with my sleight of hand, I take off all the labels and put them in a bag also without a tag. Like the good old days. I'm almost out of the shop until someone catches me. I guess I'm not as good as I used to be. Or the technology has gotten better but that might just be my ego talking.

I run out of the shops the police chasing after me. Cars skidding around and crashing behind me as I break all sorts of traffic laws. It starts raining, heavily. Lovely just amazing exactly what I needed. I run past the houses I knew so well from stealing vandalising and killing Until I reach a dead end, I can see the police about 20 meters behind me. I think of my options: hand myself in or climb. I prefer the later Idea. I take my shoes off and climb up the side of the building I find crevasses in the bricking and small nooks and crannies unable to be seen by the untrained eye. I look behind me to see the blue and red flashing lights I know so well. I hear the sirens blaring in my ears giving me an adrenaline boost. I turn back around and continue climbing in the heavy rain with only the moonlight and the light from the police cars to guide me. As I reach the top, I look down to see Police officers trying to climb the outside of the building, all of them failing. I know it will be a matter of time before they get up here, so I pick up a chair and block of the rooftop door and start running.

It's getting harder to see with rain pouring in my face, but I make my way through it jumping from building-to-building landing each jump with precision just like before, but I know I can't slow down as I hear people shout my name from behind me. I look over my shoulder in complete stupidity because as a result I fall over on the cold, hard, slippery rooftop. 'Oh no'. I quickly pick myself up but it's too late they are just behind me and I can only keep this up for so long. I see a few houses ahead of me there is a road. I can't do anything about it. I can't make the jump and I can't go back. It's either death or containment and at this moment the former sound a lot nicer. Maybe in a different world, I would have chosen life but it's now and in this mind, in this reality I turn around at the last the end of the last building and fall.

I hear the deafening wind in my ears, and everything goes so slowly as I reach the ground, I think about my life, in retrospect I regret nothing. I never regrated the murder or the stealing. It's better than a normal life with an average job and an average life I didn't feel remorse for my victims I had fun. I was happy when I got away with things and got an amazing adrenaline rush when the police found me. I think about my childhood. It was quite average no bullying in any way. I was an unproblematic child. I wasn't particularly popular, but I did have some loyal friends to keep me company. I was part of a few clubs and I played tennis. I was bored of school I was not gifted in any field in particular so I had no need to stay on top as I wasn't in anything all I cared about was not falling behind but that wasn't too hard. I was a jack of all trades master of none, but I guess later on I realised stealing was my specialty. I have no sense of self-preservation instinct which I guess helped kickstart my career, so I decided to start vandalising stuff which turned into stealing which morphed into murders. I guess It was my ego that was my downfall I became too confident. The night of my final murder I forgot to turn off the house alarm. So, the police find me, and it was too late for me to run away so I spend the next 7 years in social confinement. Here I am falling to my death. I know my death is coming maybe in a few seconds in real time but for my brain another few minutes. I had often contemplated death. what it would be like, but I was never scared of it. I admire death the knowledge that everything comes to an end. It's comforting. I guess old habits die hard. My head hits the ground and I greet death, my old friend.