Blind Love

Pain

~Azurine

It has been 13 years. You would think I had cried enough in the past few hours to not have any tears left, but I do. I turn up my music as loud as I can, and continue crying. I smell the typical anniversary breakfast of pancakes and bacon cooking downstairs. Vitali always makes it to make me happy. It does, but it still doesn’t fix what happened. I am still blind, and still have no parents. Just like last year, and the year before, and the year before that.

I feel around the dresser for my sun glasses, and put them on. I have to face the world eventually, so I get dressed. People think I would wear those band shirts, and skinny jeans, and a billion rubber bracelets, just because I cut. The truth is, I do wear band shirts, but they are Florida Georgia Line, and Jason Aldean. I put on typical blue jeans and my boots. I am glad it is cold outside, so I have an excuse to wear a jacket. I cut last night, and don’t feel like bandaging them and saying it was the cat.

I head down stairs, and hear the gasps coming from the kitchen. I figured they would be surprised that I actual came out of my room today. Today is the 13th anniversary of the accident. I have to act like it doesn’t faze me. I don’t want people’s pity. 13 years ago, a fire started. My mom and dad died. I lived through it but lost my sight. Borbala and Vitali were at Uncle Ryder and Aunt Brighton’s that night. They came home to no parents, and a blind sister. I am constant reminder to them every day, that because I lived, they don’t have parents. I hate myself for it.

Uncle Ryder and Aunt Brighton got custody of us, and we moved to Oak Grove, Louisiana. I love it here, but I know it isn’t my home even if I grew up here. I am glad it is Saturday, so I don’t have to go to school. I got to the private school, because they can handle me. I will probably ask Vitali to take me horseback riding. Even though I am blind I am told I am pretty good. I have two horses named Jaska and Ainsley.

Once I am actually in the kitchen, I hear five good mornings and get hugged by Vitali. I can tell it is him because he is so tall and smells like Axe. Smell is usually how I tell who someone is, since I actually have that sense. We eat breakfast in silence, but once I finish, I am bombarded with questions.

Vitali asked, “Whatcha wanna do today sis?”

Uncle Ryder and Aunt Brighton asked “Do you need anything?”

“You okay, Blue Eyes?” Carmen asked.

“Don’t call me Blue Eyes, Carmen,” I responded.

            She has called me that forever. She always says she loves my eyes and how pretty they are with my raven black hair. I hate it though. She wants me to show off my eyes, by taking my glasses off every now and then. I refuse, because I can’t move them and don’t like the idea that it seems like I am staring.

“Ok. Well, what do you want to do?” she replied.

“Horseback riding?” I asked.

“Yes!” Vitali answered.

            I knew he would say yes. He always does. Especially today, I hated that I got what I want just because today is today. However, I wasn’t going to argue. We decided to go after we cleaned up from breakfast. Maybe today wouldn’t be as bad as I thought it would be.

~Vitali

            I was so happy to see that Azurine wasn’t moping today. She did have her country music vibrating the whole house, but that is just an Azurine thing. I never understood her taste in music. I wanted to make her happy today. I know she says she doesn’t want pity, but have to make sure she knows she is loved. I hate seeing her depressed. She reminds me so much of mom. I love her so much for it.