The Test

It's been an entire week. I've checked time and time again to be completely sure. It's a full week overdue. Yes, I admit I had my suspicions earlier. That's the only reason I was able to convince myself to buy this damn thing in the first place. But now- right in this moment- this was the moment of truth.

Immediately after awakening, as I had read was the best time to test, I forced myself to walk straight to the bathroom. I found myself shaking as I slowly shut the door behind me, and I took out the horrid little device. It stared up at me, quite literally, blankly. I sighed and closed my eyes. My head lowered instinctively to fit into my hand, and I rested there a while. A thousand-million thoughts were buzzing through my mind all at once. All the "what if's" and the "maybe's" were bouncing all around in my head, and I felt my heart begin to race. I was still shaking, I came to find. A state of complete and total panic, before I had even tested. I suppose my fears were all too real in the first place.

I knew. I knew what my test result would be. I wouldn't admit it to myself, but I knew all too well. I just needed proof. I just needed this verification. All I was doing right now was allowing reality to slap me in the face. I needed to be cruelly thrown out of my lovely state of denial and into the claws of reality. So I did this deliberately to myself. I needed a wake up call. So I took the freaking test.

It seemed like ages for the lighter shade of pink to move across the entire, once-white, section of the strip. My heart stopped when one thick, dark bar of pink appeared, and I held my breath to see if another would show up or not. I almost wanted to pray right then. I wanted to ask whatever deity there is up there in the sky to stop time. I wanted that single bar to remain. I wanted to discard this damn test marked with a lone pink bar. I wanted that to be it. I just hoped that all this worrying was for nothing. But "Luck" would not have it that way. My eyes began to sting with the smallest beads of salty water as a strand of a second dark pink bar was revealed. My eyes remained fixed on the strip as it panned over slowly to reveal a definite pair. Two pink bars- no mistaking that. Two thick, dark pink bars. Positive.

At first, I thought it would be difficult to decipher. I thought maybe the second bar would be lighter. I thought it'd be nearly impossible to tell. However, I had a defined pair of pink bars glaring up at me, and I found myself completely speechless. It was nothing I hadn't expected. I knew I was positive. I knew it for a week.

It's crazy how the simplest couple of pink lines changes everything.